“Hamilton” creator Lin-Manuel Miranda (pictured above) recently posted the following status on Facebook:
“Good morning. You are perfectly cast in your life. I can’t imagine anyone but you in the role. Go play.”
As someone who struggles with self-esteem issues daily, that was a Godsend. It was a reminder that I didn’t have to be like anyone else, even though sometimes I try so hard to be.
There are many factors that affect people’s tendency to hide their true feelings or interests. Upbringing can cause it and environment can cause it, but the biggest and most universal factor is fear. Even the emotionally toughest among us can admit to fear: fear of being judged, fear of being rejected, or fear of being an outcast. Because of this fear, we don’t “wear this or that”, and we pretend like we don’t know all the words to our favorite song. How crazy is that; that some of us hide so many things on a daily basis, just to avoid judgment by people we barely even know.
My personal struggle with self-esteem involves not only caring too much about what others think, but also trying to predict or decipher what people are thinking about me. This means that I’m always in two places at once: I’m me, talking and being somewhat present in the moment, but I’m also conducting a survey in my head of how I think everyone around me is perceiving me. Insecurities are born from this, and sometimes there’s too much activity dragging me down to focus on the moment. This phenomenon has always stopped me from doing certain things. When I realized in middle school that apparently liking age-appropriate “Power Rangers” was uncool because everyone was now into “Family Guy”, my enthusiasm became less public. “High School Musical” was another example of this, as it was simply too girly to know all the words to all of the songs as I did. And damn near no one could stand by me when I went to see “Hannah Montana: The Movie” (which I still love to this day, and now appreciate the fact that I do).
Being different is (no pun intended) so strange sometimes. You wonder why you were made the way you were. Everyone just likes what they like (music, hobbies, people), so it’s sometimes easy to question why your own interests are so different from so many others who fit your demographic or your surroundings. When I got to high school and I was surrounded by “artistic people,” open-mindedness was the norm. It wasn’t uncommon to hear “Oh that’s what you’re into? Cool man!” But not every place is like that, and leaving that sort of environment was a bit difficult for me.
Things changed greatly in the past year, however.
Only recently, have I started to realize the blessing that comes with being as well rounded and unique as I am. I can’t really have a conversation about sports like many of my peers can, but I can go on for days about music and movies and shows that some of my friends have never even heard of. It allows me to be unexpected, impressive, and un-stereotypical. More importantly, celebrating my own uniqueness allows me to feel better about myself daily. Allowing yourself to “dance like nobody’s watching” – literally and figuratively - allows you to walk away from a situation feeling more confident about yourself than ever before.
Plus, at the end of the day, judgment (by nature) is hypocritical. Everyone has flaws and things they are ashamed of and, more often than not, their judgment of you comes from their judgment of themselves. More importantly, though, it’s unnecessary to even care. Random people’s lives will seldom affect you, and (as long as you’re not disrespecting others) they’re probably not thinking much about you anyway.
None of these thoughts are simple or easy or new, for that matter. Your interests and personality aren’t something that necessarily need to be shouted from the rooftops. But what I’m saying is, just allowing yourself to be you regardless of whoever’s around, can be just as – if not more – influential to your own personal life. Be yourself and allow others to be themselves around you, as long as no one is being inconsiderate or disrespectful.
Mr. Miranda is correct. You are perfectly cast in your life, and that may be harder to accept for some of us than others, but it’s true, and accepting that will make for happier, freer, and more confident lives.
