Life is an experience.
Everyone who crosses your path is relevant.
Learn from them.
My first job was not what I expected. I applied to be a “General Purpose Assistant,” which turned out to be a part-time dishwasher. As soon as I stepped into the room, I knew it was going to be awful. I simply wanted to learn, to experience new activities. Meet people and gain knowledge. At the back of the room, I spotted a tiny, skinny woman with a tattoo on her arm, spelling out her name. Monica, as her tattoo spelled, waved at me, but it was not a friendly wave. I could see it: she was already annoyed of having me there. But why? I wondered. She does not even know me. Did she judge me that quick?
I did not know.
Yet I kept on going with my tasks. The manager was showing me around, presenting me to every worker as we walked through the aisles. “You will work with Monica most of the time” she said. “Great,” I thought, sarcastically to myself. The one person who already despised me was to be my main co-worker.
I shuffled back to the same spot as Monica, and asked her what I was to do here. After all, I was still the new guy. She simply directed me to wash some dishes, and she left. I read few instructions on how to properly set up the sink, and went on to washing. The sink water released plenty of steam, which did not allow me to wear glasses; I had to take them off. Eventually, I would use contact lenses the next day. Since heat takes off bacteria easily, we used hot water, which burned my hands slightly when trying to fish for dishes. I am saving you from the gross part: the food left overs. Do not worry. I will not get into that.
More days passed, and the routine was the same. I would arrive, and Monica would leave, only to come back after her break, two hours later, and help me finish up. There was no talking at all. Sure, the room was loud from all the water flowing, but it was not loud enough to prevent a friendly conversation. Regardless, I kept on-going with my job day by day. Walk in, wash dishes, walk out.
One day, however, Monica noticed something: I was washing dishes, just lie every day. But it was not that, it was the fact that I did not care about getting my hands dirty. Then, she spoke to me. “You know, when you came in here, I thought to myself, this college pretty boy won’t clean crap. He won’t get his hands dirty, and he won’t get the job done. But I see you are. I’m surprised.” I sighed. That was it. There was the reason she had acted mean towards me. She thought I was not going to work. I thanked her; there was not much else to say. But the conversation kept going. We eventually learned who we were. I learned her background, and she learned mine. To my surprise, her background seemed much more grimly and darker. She has lived through experiences that writing down here may disturb some people.
TLDR; I was not who she expected me to be, and she was surprised about it.
I was not offended at all. I took it as a compliment. I was not some lazy, college student that was not going to get the job done. I got my hands dirty (literally) and proved Monica wrong.
But what did I learn?
People will judge you. People will make assumptions of you that you might or might not like. Sure thing, we get taught to not be judgmental, and we also tell ourselves “I do not judge people.” However, you and I know that to some extent, even when we claim that we do not judge, we do. We always do. Every. Single. Time. It is inevitable. It is human nature.
So, get over it. One thing, however, I can tell you.
Just be yourself.
You will benefit more from that.
Do not try to be who people expect you to be.
