1. Girls that look good in basketball shorts.
Let's be real. This is just not okay. I had to quit basketball for this reason alone...no one wanted to see that and being a sixteen year old is hard enough without having the need to try to look good in shorts that were meant for boys exceeding six foot.
2. ANYONE that says they would be in Hufflepuff over any other house.
These people are most likely sociopaths that think they are cute but in reality are those people who have a really bad case of something known as "crazy eyes." This is where all other features may look normal, and even flattering about a person, but when you look at their eyes it's like you're looking into a dark abyss that you can not return from. These are probably the same people that are in Hufflepuff. As if that isn't bad enough, their mascot is a Badger. Probably the least trustworthy animal if you ask me. Along with their colors being CANARY yellow and black. A lot of messed up nonsense going on there. I mean honestly, who wakes up on the morning of their eleventh birthday awaiting their Hogwarts letter in hopes that they can be a HUFFLEPUFF? No one I want to be in The Chamber of Secrets with..that's for sure.
3. People who wash their hands after eating Cheetos instead of licking their fingers.
These people are dangerous and also probably the types of people that label their food in the fridge with color coordinated sticky notes and that will some day be the parent that forces their sons to have a side part at the age of four and doesn't let them play on the play place in McDonald's.
4. People who say they have never eaten Play- Doh.
This is just a right of passage of anyone over the age of four. Plus they made all of those toys where you could actually conveniently form the salty substance in to practically any food imaginable. It was inevitable, and I have no regrets.
5. People who don't lick the spoon after making cake/cookies/brownies.
Also the people who most likely listened to their mom when she said "Don't eat the batter because the eggs will make you sick"
6. People who tell you you should cut off all of your hair.
They don't want you to have mermaid hair and if you are going to cut off anything it should probably be contact with this malicious monster that poses as your friend.
7. People who sign up for the first day of project presentations.
While these people are responsible and you might want to be in their group for projects from now on...they are the same people that will give you an awful peer review, plus no one likes a try hard.
8. "Okay don't tell anyone because I'm the only one who knows"
WELL NOT ANYMORE YOU'RE NOT.
9. People who don't like Disney movies.
This is extremely important when looking for a future with someone. If they didn't watch Disney movies growing up, this probably means that their parents didn't instill the value of Disney movies in to their brains. No Mickey Mouse themed birthday party = No imagination. To be extremely safe, when making small talk with someone you're interested in, ask them if they were given the choice to be any Disney Character, which would they be? Who they choose also says a lot about who they are as a person. These are the Scars of the world, the ones that have the opportunity to save you from a herd of stampeding wildebeests, but instead chooses to be selfish jerks who are just going to dry up the Pride land and overall suck at everything asked of them. (Still bitter - RIP Mufasa)
10. People who don't like baby animals.
(Watch out because these people also don't have souls) I would trust a baby rattlesnake before I trusted one of these savages.
11. Morning people.
I'm not talking about the people who wake up before noon...I'm talking about people who enjoy waking up at the actual crack of dawn. This might be a personal opinion but I'm thoroughly convinced anyone who actually enjoys waking up with the sun is most likely a member of some secret evil club that tries to ban ice cream....or even worse....a Hufflepuff...and they are using that time that the rest of us are asleep to plot all of their sick and twisted plans with the sunrise.
12. When you are in the drive thru and you ask your shotgun rider if they want anything and they reply with a modest no yet the second your medium fry enters the vehicle they are asking if they can "Just have a few" and then somehow manage to eat half of the bag.
If they can't be trusted with questions regarding food, what can they be trusted with?
