We all know if there’s anything this world needs more of, it’s good. In the disaster that can sometimes be, or at least feel like, our lives, it can be hard to see the good in ourselves or the people or situations around us.
But we still get up every morning and all want and hope for more good. Often times, however, when presented with an opportunity to provide just that, we quickly panic.
When I began writing these articles, I just needed an outlet. Over time, I realized the opportunity it gave me to say something that mattered, and hopefully something that would stick with somebody.
When you read these, you probably think I have no problem talking about my faith or my feelings or matters important to me. You’d think I have no problem engaging in the world around me- but the opposite is quite true.
I can not tell you how many times I put my head down when I know I should speak up, or walk away when I know I should do something- whether in class, in passing, among friends, or in even just an uncomfortable moment with a stranger.
My point is, I wake up every day in a broken world and I think about making a difference, but more often than not stepping out of my comfort zone, talking to real people about real things, doing the unexpected, is just far too scary.
But thank God for the people who aren’t afraid.
On Valentine’s Day, I tweeted “single ladies, DO NOT go to Walmart on Valentine’s Day unless you’re going to treat yourself because all the cute stuff hurts...but remember one day a guy will be checking out with a box of chocolates and a huge stuff animal for you, just be patient”.
Today, my mom texted me asking what I’d ordered from Amazon. I was extremely confused and told her I had no idea but that she could open it. It turned out I hadn’t ordered anything.
A high school friend had sent me a stuffed dog, with a note that said “Hey Mary, I saw your tweet on Valentine’s Day and I just wanted to send you a late Valentine gift. I hope you like it.”
I was stunned. This wasn’t someone I talked to daily at school. This wasn’t someone I’d ever been extremely close with. This wasn’t someone who I had even spoken to at all since graduation. But this was someone who was unafraid.
Obviously, a lonely Valentine's day isn’t the biggest issue in the world, or even in my life, but that’s not the point. The point is that person had absolutely nothing to gain by doing that, and even more could have been left feeling embarrassed or awkward, but he did it anyway. He took the opportunity to do something good. Something that would have an impact on and brighten someone else’s day.
When people tell me how much they love my articles, or respond to a particular one and say how much they needed it at that moment, they act as though I’m the one who’s unafraid.
In reality, I don’t feel nearly as brave when writing as the people- often strangers or people that I don’t see or talk to daily- who are willing to go out of their way to encourage me, support me, and just provide a piece of good in my day. I love writing, so if nothing else I get to do it selfishly. But they, the readers, have nothing to gain by reaching out to me and offering up encouragement, yet they do it anyway.
Even that reminds me that far too many times I’m afraid. I’m afraid I don’t have the right words or resources to help someone in need, so I just don’t do anything. Or I’m afraid my resources or my words or my ideas or just me will be rejected, so I don’t engage.
I’m afraid of feeling uncomfortable in situations, or vulnerable in front of certain people so I don’t take the risks to do the little things- like smiling at the girl I’ve only talked to a few times instead of putting my head down, or responding positively with encouragement when I see someone doing, saying, or posting something positive.
And I certainly don’t do the big things- like help the stranger in the grocery store that’s clearly in need of assistance, or the one on the side of the street, or take the time to do something nice for an old friend that I haven’t even seen in months. But those things are that good we all want and all need more of. We just have to learn to be unafraid to offer it.
Thank you to all the people who have been unafraid, and shaped my life in the little and the big ways day by day.
