Thank you, people pleasers, for reading this article. Hopefully you are not just reading this in order to please me, because if you’re reading this it’s too late. (Subtle Drake reference) There is no greater pressure than trying to please each and every person in your life. We all know that pleasing everyone is impossible, and trying to do so is just a waste of time, yet we still attempt to do just that. Eventually, you will try to make so many people happy that you will find yourself unhappy in the end. Although making other people happy is something that usually makes people pleasers happy, it is important to know how to balance treating others and treating yourself. The problem with people pleasing is that it seems like such a good thing to do and because of that, it is hard to recognize when you have taken it too far.
Who Should You Please:
The only people you should worry about making happy are those who also make you happy. You should want to do things for people who at least try to reciprocate some of the things that you do for them. Sometimes it seems like no one ever does as much for you, as you do for them. While that may be true, it is important to remember that anything you do for someone else is voluntary and is something that you chose to do in the first place. You choosing to please other people is not someone else’s fault. Just because someone does not do nice things for you in return, does not make them a bad person or wrong, but it does mean you should reevaluate whether or not you should do things for them anymore. Focusing on pleasing only your family and close friends will make your life so much easier and less stressful. Doing things for people who love you unconditionally is the best way to feel like you are pleasing people who value you completely. Watch the response of the people you do things for. If they are really appreciative and let you know how thankful they are, that person is probably someone who is worth trying to please. The worst situation to be stuck in is trying to please people who cannot be pleased. Try to please those who are easy to please so that you do not feel like you are constantly failing people.
Say No
Being able to say no is one of the best things to develop if you are a people pleaser. Often people pleasers find themselves with way too many things to do because they do not want to let people down whenever they are asked for help. If you can pick and choose who you want to help you will be able to more effectively help them in the end and also save yourself a lot of time and stress. Only say yes to those who you feel would say yes to you, if you were in their position. If you know there is something that you are constantly used for such as money, rides, or help on homework, try to say no to everyone for a little while until you can get it under control.
Focus On What Is Important:
For me, as a Christian, I try to mainly focus on pleasing God. Even though that seems like it would also be impossible, it is actually easy to do because it is comforting to know that God will love you regardless of what you do. Pleasing God does not mean that you cannot make another mistake; it simply means that you are going to attempt to live your life in a way that brings glory to God. There is only one God and it is much easier and satisfying to please one God than it is to please the hundreds of people that surround you. There is a clear way to please God as described by the bible, but there are so many opinions among people on what makes them happy. What might make one of your friends happy might make the other really upset with you.
Going from constantly pleasing people to being selective with who you please and when you please them it is not an easy process, but it is definitely worth it. You will be less stressed and happier overall if you can control your people pleasing nature. It is important to remember that you cannot effectively make others happy if you are not happy in the first place.
