I do my best to keep my story positive. I am a positive person day in and day out, but I can’t help but wish that people knew certain things about my disease without me having to teach them or without me having to help them understand. Although I love educating others, it begins to feel as though no one around me wants to hear it.
When I have a few bad days, I want to hide. I want to scream at my body. I want to throw it away. I ask myself, “Why? Why did this happen to me?”
But then I stop and remember that it happened to me because I can handle it and because I was meant to teach others about it.
I wish people could see the battle that I am fighting, some days more than others.
I wish people could see the numbers that follow me around all day.
I wish people could feel a high blood sugar.
I wish people could feel a low blood sugar (hypoglycemics don’t count).
SEE ALSO: 15 Different Reactions You Get When You Have Type One Diabetes
I wish people could see me struggling to solve this disease.
I wish people knew that my diabetes is not someone else’s diabetes.
I wish people knew that Type 1 Diabetes is not Type 2 Diabetes.
I wish people knew that thousands of people are struggling with this disease around the world and some of them don’t have the resources to survive.
I wish people knew how invasive this disease is between the finger pricks, the pump sites, the sensor sites and the syringe holes left in my body.
I wish people knew that I can eat that cookie.
I wish people knew that I can eat two cookies if my heart desires it.
I wish people knew that I am constantly thinking about my blood sugar.
I wish people knew that I can’t go anywhere without a glucometer, insulin, and glucose tablets.
I wish people knew that diabetes can cause a lot of other problems in my body.
I wish people knew that this disease isn’t as easy as it looks. It’s more than just pushing buttons and testing my blood sugar.
I wish people knew that I have to consider every single piece of food that goes into my mouth and how it might affect me later.
I wish people knew that diabetes affects my sleep.
I wish people knew that sometimes I don’t feel like fighting my body.
I wish people knew that certain foods can really really hurt me for a few hours.
I wish people knew that my life is a little different than theirs, but that I wear it well.
I wish friends could understand.
I wish family would try harder to.
I wish people knew that my disease is life-threatening and that it usually never leaves my mind, no matter how often I practice yoga or how often I meditate.
I wish people knew that diabetes is just as much mental as it is physical.
I wish people knew that I’m constantly thinking ahead, when all I want to be thinking about is right now.
SEE ALSO: A Letter To Those Who Think Diabetes Is A Joke
I wish people knew that life is so precious to people with diabetes.
I wish people knew that I didn’t do this to myself.