To all the people who don't feel enough:
I understand. And when I say that I understand, I mean it. I've been there. In fact, I face this feeling every day in some way or another. So, I'm here to tell you a few things.
First off: You. Are. Enough. Please listen to me when I say that you are worthy and you have worth. I know it's hard to believe it because you could give me so many reasons, so much evidence or proof as to why you don't believe in your worth. So when you happen to screw up or fall apart, you start connecting all the times it's happened before and you start to think you aren't enough. It's natural to feel this way and it's real easy to connect the dots because then we can make sense of something. But the thing about life is that it's messy and imperfect and most of the time doesn't make an ounce of sense. We are all trying to make it through and most of the time we don't know what we are doing; people just don't admit to this or don't realize they are even doing this.
Second: you're human. You're allowed to make mistakes; in fact, it's even encouraged to make mistakes. You're allowed to feel angry, sad, depressed, happy, anxious, shy, and on and on; and you're allowed to express them. In society, in American society in particular, it's assumed that we need to have it together at all times, have your whole life figured out by age 8. And if we falter and break down, it's seen as weakness or "poor them" or "why don't they have their life together?" But that's wrong. Everyone has their breaking point when they don't want to or can't be strong anymore. This isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign you've become exhausted and tired and you needed to let go. Some people plan their life out to a "T" but that doesn't mean you have to do the same. It's OK not to have what you want to major in college figured out by the time you are 6 years old.
Third, and finally, you can't control everything. If there's anything I've learned being a control freak or perfectionist, it's that it gets exhausting and you'll burn yourself out real quick. And herein lies the problem: you can't be everything, do everything and try to stay sane in the process. Something's got to give, and more often than not, it's your sanity that is lost and then you panic because nothing's going right and you feel that everything and your life is out of control.
While that might seem dramatic, for some people I just described an everyday struggle they face. The simple fact is there are only very few things we have control over: our words, our body language, how we react, and what we do. Basically, I just described that you have control over you and your actions. Once you start letting go of what you can't control, you'll find it's easier to see the beauty in the world and it's easier to breathe it all in without the feeling of the whole world on your shoulder.
While I could go on, this feels like a good place to stop. Three things you need to repeat to yourself: "I am enough," "I'm only human and it's OK to not to be OK," and "I can only to do so much and that's OK". Is this a cure? Nope, but it's a good place to start.
Signed,
Someone who's struggling too.
