To The People Who Always Put Others Before Themselves

To The People Who Always Put Others Before Themselves

You are loved.

You are a special type of person. You’re able to put your needs and wants behind others’. Constantly, you are making sacrifices for the people around you. If you have a seven-page paper due in a few days but a friend needs you? Forget about the paper, you’re there for your friend. Feeling sick and can hardly get out bed but your friend needs help with a project? You’ll be there for them. No matter how big or small the need is, you’re there for your friends and family at all times.

Many times, it can feel like your hard work, sacrifices, and selflessness go unrecognized. You’re constantly doing things for others—do they say thank you or return the favor? Oftentimes even if they don’t, you don’t mind. You just want the people in your life to be happy. But your happiness is important, too.

You deserve the world.

You deserve to receive the same love you put out into the world. Not everyone is going to understand how to show love to you. Many people seem to focus solely on themselves; they don’t always understand how to make a sacrifice for another person. So if others aren’t able to show you love yet, you need to love yourself. Put yourself first once in a while. It’s hard to do that. It might seem selfish, but I promise that it isn’t. Take yourself out for coffee or ice cream. Treat yourself. Take a walk alone and listen to your favorite music. Go out to see a movie by yourself. Write in a journal. Sleep. It’s okay not to be there for your friends every moment of every day. If you don’t take care of yourself and love yourself, it’ll be harder to show love to others.

I’ve recently come to realize that I attach myself to people who don’t express their feelings or show the love that they have for the people in their lives. I think that people who tend to put others first also tend to gravitate towards people like this. We have so much love to give, so we show it most to the people who don’t show it themselves as a form of compensation. While this seems like a good system, it’s flawed. It causes heartache. It constantly feels like nobody loves me as much as I love them, which may be the case, but nonetheless, is a terrible feeling.

That’s one of the reasons why it’s so important to love yourself, to save yourself from the heartache.

But how do you learn to love yourself when you’ve put all of your energy into loving others?

It’s different for everyone. I’m in the process of learning to love myself and it’s hard. I’ve tried writing down things that I love about myself, spending time alone, and spending time looking in the mirror to love the way I look. I take walks by myself to my favorite spot in Boston and write music. I’ve started doing things to make myself happy rather than making others happy and it has transformed my self-worth. I feel valuable and important. I feel loved, not necessarily by others, but by myself—and that’s one of the best feelings in the world.

Treat yourself, tell yourself you’re beautiful, and do things that make you happy. You deserve it. You deserve happiness, peace, and love. You matter. You are enough. I hope you learn to love yourself as much as you love others because you deserve it.

Cover Image Credit: Generation Next

Popular Right Now

To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit:

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Public Health May Be The Most Important Area To Focus On As A Society

I saw with my own eyes the importance of public health initiatives in villages throughout Honduras and Nicaragua.


Medical exploration and healthcare management has thrived throughout the 21st century, with major developments in epidemiology allowing organizations such as the World Health Organization of the United Nations to track the spread of preventable diseases such as malaria and influenza across impoverished countries worldwide. I saw with my own eyes the importance of public health initiatives in villages throughout Honduras and Nicaragua when I traveled there as a Brigadier with Stony Brook's Public Health Brigade, a coalition organized by Global Brigades during the Summers of 2016 and 2017.

Working alongside other university collaborations such as Boston University, I was mesmerized by the impact that improvements such as clean water through mountain pipelines and sustainable housing could do in reducing the severity of Zika virus outbreaks in the region, as accentuated by the near 8,400 villagers with access to clean water as a result of our efforts.

These experiences demonstrated to me the value of preventative measures highlighted by the public health approach — by attacking the origin of a disease and the medium through which it spreads instead of merely treating the manifestation of its symptoms, a holistic approach would allow for the eradication of a malady throughout an entire region whilst educating the local populations about the importance of proper hygiene practices and fortified infrastructure to prevent its re-eminence. It is for this reason that I feel inspired to pursue a graduate degree in Public Health as a professional, so that I can help contribute to the eradication of preventable illnesses across the globe.

A specific area of interest that I wish to target as a field of study would be the impact of sustainable housing in the eradication of illnesses such as lead poisoning through contaminated water sources. My own experience in this particular aspect of Public Health Administration as a Brigadier with Stony Brook Public Health Brigade showed me the importance of secure infrastructure in the reduction of preventable diseases as an especially pertinent area of community health in the United States, highlighted by the water toxicity crisis in Flint, Michigan.

A recent study released by Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha at Hurley Medical Center noted an uptick in the blood-lead concentration of Flint Children from 2.4% to 4.9% after changing their water source, with spikes as high as 10.6% in correlation with elevated levels of lead in Flint water. These elevated blood-lead concentrations put these children at higher risk for lead poisoning, characterized by reduced growth rate and learning difficulties. Purification of the available water sources throughout the region would be a comprehensive long-term solution to reducing elevated blood-lead levels amongst Flint residents.

My goals after my master's degree in public health would be to pursue a medical education and become a doctor, or go into Healthcare Administration and eventually work with the WHO of the UN to establish a more easily accessible Healthcare system across various countries to increase the number of people in impoverished areas that can be reached by doctors, nurses and other primary care practitioners. I feel that a proper understanding of public health would, therefore, be essential to establishing my career in service to humanity.

Related Content

Facebook Comments