I can proudly say that I have been sober my entire life. All 19 years have been spent turning down offer after offer (some of which were pretty forceful) to drink or smoke. I've never tried anything (other than church wine one time that I absolutely hated). And I've been told by some people that I would be "so much more fun if I drank" or that I should "just join in," that it "won't hurt to try."

Why is it that in order to have fun as a high school or college student I have to drink or smoke? Who's to say what's fun for me anyways?

My strong set of morals and beliefs play a major role in my will to refuse. Some people say they've only tried drugs or alcohol because of peer pressure. They were "pressured" to do something they supposedly didn't want to do.

Perhaps one of the only good things that came from one of my exes was the notion that peer pressure isn't real. Instead, it is merely a social construct developed by those who made their choice but didn't want to take responsibility for it. When he explained this to me, I was mad at first. How could he have said such a thing, let alone even thought it? But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

No one can pressure you to do something you don't want to do, especially when it comes to something like drinking or smoking. I can't tell you how many times people have repeatedly asked me to drink. I say no every time because I'm uncomfortable with it. I've never given in to anything or anyone because even deep down when I think maybe I want to do this, I know that I truly don't want to and that I shouldn't. That I don't need to do it. Sure, maybe it won't hurt me, but it definitely won't benefit me either.

I think peer pressure is not the problem for people, it acts as the solution. Hear me out on this one. Let's think of an example scenario. Sally doesn't smoke cigarettes but her three best friends do. The four of them go out, let's say to a party. The three friends step out to smoke and Sally doesn't want to be left behind, so she goes with. There are a couple other people from the party outside who ask if she wants a smoke. She says no, even though she has considered it before. They keep pushing it on her so she finally accepts. In this case, the peer pressure was a way for her to try smoking cigarettes without the decision process. In turn, it was sort of an impulse decision to try something she wanted to try without taking full responsibility for it. Because when her mom finds out and she gets in trouble, Sally will put some of the blame on those other partiers who "made her do it," and maybe her mom will go easier on her upon hearing that.

Now, of course there are exceptions to every rule. There are some situations where peer pressure is involved and the decision truly is not your fault because maybe you don't have a choice, for whatever reason. I'm not trying to instill blame on every individual person for decisions they made and ended up disliking or regretting. I'm simply trying to put an idea, a concept, into your mind to give you something to think about.

It may not make sense at first. It didn't to me either. But I guess what I'm really trying to say is that peer pressure isn't so much a "be all, end all" force, but simply an influence that could potentially be the last straw needed for someone to say yes to something.

Just give it some thought. It could end up being useful down the line.