When I feel confident about an idea, I become an activist for it. Not only do I get excited about an opportunity, I become somewhat obsessive over all of the things that could go right. While I like this quality about myself, the negative side is that I often experience heavy disappointment if it doesn't end up working out.
Recently, I found myself in this place. An opportunity was in the works for me. Not only was I excited about it, I truly believed it was going to be one of God's greatest blessings to me. I was crushed when it fell through, but I really wanted to believe that something else was in the works. I kept declaring that even this disappointment was a part of God's plan, but my reality uneasy and stressful.
After taking a few days to pray about what I was going to do next, I was talking to my dad about how I actually felt about the entire situation. I kept saying to my dad, "I just don't understand why this happened". I prayed so much about this decision before I officially made it and I truly felt like I was taking the necessary risk. My dad reminded me of something so true.
We can hope for understanding, but we should pray and actively search for peace.
My dad also reminded me of one of his favorite verses in the Bible.
The Amplified Version of Phillipians 4:7 says, "And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours]."
The Chloe Durham version of Philipians 4:7 says, "And the peace of God [that peace which you need to keep you from going off on the next person that speaks to you, that peace] which transcends all need to understand why things happen the way they do, [that peace which] protects your mind from thinking about all of the things you may have done to keep something from working out [is yours]."
Understanding isn't promised. This isn't to say it won't ever come. Sometimes, we find out why something didn't work out a couple weeks down the road. Sometimes, it's not revealed until years later.
Sometimes, a crappy situation will never really "makes sense", but the journey through our disappointment creates wisdom we need to encourage others or character in us that we need for our God-given purpose.
God doesn't waste our experiences, even the ones that really hurt. But while we're on this journey through our disappointments, let's not derail our progress by searching for the wrong thing. Understanding is a gift, but peace is a promise.