Dear patrons that decide to treat the neighborhood pool as a vacation destination, resort, and spa,

As I am home for yet another summer, I look forward to relaxation and making money. For the past five years, I have been a lifeguard at the same pool. This pool was nothing new to me my first year as a guard as I have lived in the neighborhood in which the pool is located for the greater portion of my life. I know the ins and outs and every trick the children think they can get away with. I was your age at the pool once too, bud, you will not get away with anything.

Yes, when I was younger I was probably one of the most annoying children in the neighborhood. I would come as soon as the pool opened, and I would not leave until the pool closed at 8 p.m. All of the lifeguards were annoyed with me including my brother, a lifeguard at the time.

Now, I see why they were so annoyed. I say to myself every time a child, nine or older, is at the pool alone late, "isn't it past your bedtime" or "it's dinner time please leave." But nothing will ever make me angrier than the children that do not listen if you are with them or not. The "cool" thing to do when you're a preteen/teenager at the pool is to go down the slide. Lol, funny right? Children do not just "go down the slide," though. They like to spin around and stop on the slide just to make things a little more interesting, but no matter how many times I say "don't spin or stop while on the slide," they continue to do it.

What gets me the most, though, is that you, the child's parent, are sitting right there. I know you heard me, yet you choose not to say a word to your child. Thank you for that. I am not your personal nanny. I do not get paid to babysit you kid while you drink your margarita by the pool with your pals. Sometimes watching your children at the pool is a good thing. It is necessary. If you happen to not be watching them, though, I am. No worries.

But if I am watching your child when you’re off drinking paying no attention, do not come at me when I see your son struggling in an area in the pool in which he should not be swimming as it may be too deep. I will get off my stand if I feel uncomfortable, and I will jump in if I believe a child is actively drowning. Do not tell me to “mind my business” because “you can watch your own kid,” because clearly, you cannot. Do not tell me how to do my job.

It is also kind to throw away your trash and put the furniture back close to how it was when you arrived. We work hard to keep the pool straight and clean, yet you feel as though you can come, trash it, and leave us to clean up your mess. My parents, too, paid the initiation fee and pay the monthly dues, yet they can clean up after themselves and are kind to every guard working. Human decency.

The days at the pool are long and hot, and my temper gets shorter by the hour. Eight hours of parents that pay no attention. Eight hours of cleaning up wet goldfish, ice cream, colored syrup, candy, pizza, and wrappers. Eight hours of keeping a smile on my face treating every patron with the utmost respect and kindness. I deserve to be treated the way I treat you. If you have an issue, please come to me about it, but do not approach me and begin to berate me. Do not complain that there are children in the pool when it is “kid friendly hours.” I do not make the rules, I just implement them.

Sincerely,

The lifeguard that is currently sobbing and dying of heat stroke at the same time