As odd as it may sound, I go by two names. The first is my given name, Jackson. The second, the name of my twin brother, Pate. Ever since we emerged from our mother’s womb eighteen years ago, we have been identical in every way – physically, socially, intellectually. We have the same friends. We earn the same grades. We are interested in the same things. We talk alike, we act alike, we think alike. There is nothing that makes us different, not even a hint of uniqueness. We are, in fact, the exact same person.
I am, of course, being facetious, but many people my brother and I encounter seem to believe this very idea. When we first meet a stranger, the conversation begins with the essentials: “Are you two twins?” Okay, fine. Then, we move on to the deeper questions such as “Do you share a room?” and “Which one is older?” They’ll ask if our parents favor one of us, if one is more intelligent than the other, or which one was "the accident". Sometimes they’ll even recount to us anecdotes of their experiences with other twins or perhaps inquire about our attitudes toward one another, and so in essence, they end up defining who we are as individuals based on our status as twins.
Now before this discussion becomes too querulous, let me say this. Although many times we are thought of as one, Pate has influenced me in ways that society cannot understand. He has pushed me to be my own person, to forge my own path when there was already one set out for me. While he demonstrates a passion for the humanities and economics, I am more of the "math and science" type. He was an active member of the track team, while I was more involved with the special education department at our high school. We do share friends, yes, but each of us has reserved for himself certain people who are especially close: those who know one apart from the other, those who love each of us for who we are. He supports me, advises me, imparts on me all of the wisdom gained from that one minute where his sibling was simply an idea, and I, in my "humble youth", do the same for him, for he is not just my twin, but my brother. Even with our occasionally irritating similarities, we have a duty to one another to be there when we are most needed, to be each other’s keeper.
Many have approached me during the past few months asking about how I'll handle college without my loyal doppelgänger by my side, and while yes, I'm losing someone I once shared a crib with and venturing into the frightening unknowns of the real world, I'm confident that all will be well. See, just as King Solomon so wisely said in the book of Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything: a time to live, a time to mourn, a time to laugh, and a time to let go. I realistically can't live my entire life expecting my brother to diffuse the awkwardness out of every situation or to volunteer to plan our friend group's get-togethers or to mow the lawn and slave outside in the hot sun in my stead. There comes a time when we both have to grow up and say goodbye, a time when I must put the lessons he has taught me into practice and not simply learn them, and a time when, although I know that I have a friend mere hours away, I must become someone I've never been - just Jackson.