You've heard of aggressive drivers who honk their horns at anything that doesn't move within two seconds. You've probably felt your car shake after a speed demon reenacts a scene from one of the "Fast and Furious" movies. You might have even been a frightened passenger in that car, too scared to utter a word as the driver whooped and yelled in excitement or anger (or both). Yes, aggressive drivers make it obvious they are who they are, but what about the passive aggressive?
Signs you're a passive aggressive driver.
1. Your hand is like this half the time.
and your other hand stays away from the horn. You don't even brush it with your pinky.
2. During traffic you feel like you're in "Mad Max: Fury Road" as you glare at other drivers.
You have every intention of ramming your car into every car in your way. Except...
3. As soon as you make eye contact you have to act cool and aloof.
Show them no fear as you scream on the inside with a death grip on the steering wheel.
4. Four-way stop? More like NO way stop.
Maybe if you keep edging forward the other cars will know it's your turn. YOUR TUR--Oh wait. No, it's fine. Go ahead. OKAY NOW--Wait nope. You're crawling over the crosswalk at this point. GO!
5. Maybe if you tailgate them they'll go a little faster...
You'd rather weave around cars before punching the horn.
6. Someone pisses you off? Tell them. Not to their face of course.
Don't look at them. Don't make hand gestures. Just mumble under your breath and scare your passengers. Follow up your hushed curses with, "It's fine. Don't worry about it."
7. Someone's speeding behind you?
Better slow down to show them how to obey speed limits like the model citizen you are, right?
8. When the car in front of you suddenly slows down and turns without a signal.
I'm not angry they turned. I'm just angry they didn't tell me. Whatever.
9. Last but not least... the lack of a thank you wave.
Excuse me? You're f*cking welcome.
I must confess I am guilty of all of these, especially as a resident of the passive-fic aggressive northwest.
Doesn't matter if you're an aggressive driver, a passive aggressive driver, or someone who just easily goes with the flow, you need to be careful on the road to protect not just yourself but others around you. With holiday season just around the corner, be responsible.
