I've always wanted to be great in something. I don't want to be popular, famous or partially good at something. I want to be great at one thing.

I've found that I'm well balanced. I can do many things well enough, meaning there will always be someone who's better and for the longest time that has bothered me. I work and work at being the best pianist, flutist, editor, writer, actor, tech support worker, basketball player, customer representative and many other jobs, but there has always been one person that has been the one that has outshone me.

Growing up, everything was a subtle competition between my best friend and I. We were always competing for the first chair in band, the one they picked for solos or the one for playing the piano. With all the luck in the world, I only got the first chair because I was older and she had connections for the other positions.

So, I moved to sports and I was only the best defensive wise -- so when we had winning teams who could outmaneuver the offense, I honestly wasn't needed.

Moving into college, I tried new things to get a feel of what I could be great at. Now that I've graduated I can tell you that the answer is: nothing.

I'm not great at anything. I fulfilled many jobs in my five years of college. I was a writer, an editor, a web designer, an actor, a producer, a stage manager, a flutist, a receptionist, a pianist, a manager, a dancer and a support system. I did a lot and I never felt fulfilled.

My biggest dream has been wanting to be an actor. I've wanted to stand on stage underneath the spotlights and create a story for the audience. But I have been rejected over and over again. I always felt I wasn't even though, even it's always claimed in the field that the biggest deciding factor is not fitting the part, but I felt that to be a lie. I felt I was better because I was passionate about the theater world. When I wasn't cast, I ended up taking backstage roles and I would always come in early and leave late to help to make sure I did everything I could to ensure the show a success. I believed that I had more variation in my roles and more dynamic than the girls that were always cast. I've wanted to give up theater because I felt I was being pigeonholed -- but it's a passion.

But here's the thing: I'm still bitter about never receiving a part until my final quarter in school. You're probably sighing to yourself and saying, "get over it, that's what theater is about." That's true, but there were always the same six girls trying out and sometimes our director would hunt down people who never auditioned, to ask them to take this role instead of even giving me or one of the other back reserved girls.

I'm bitter, for sure, but I've realized that I'm awesome. I may be rejected for parts and jobs for reasons more than "you didn't fit it," but I'm good at a lot of things. I've searched and searched for that one thing I could be great at and in the process I've found many things that I'm good at. I'm a well-rounded human being. I can do graphic design, I can wait on tables, tell you random things about wine, dance to Latin music with no training, put makeup on without looking like a clown, blend into crowds and most of all I can manage people: I know how to be a boss and communicate. I have realized because of this that I would be great as a producer.

So if you're feeling lost at what you're supposed to be doing with your life, seriously just stop and write down everything and look over what you've done. I was always involved with multiple projects at the same time and while I would get burnt out, I put everything into them and they all came out better than I could expect.

Do I wish I could do I want and be that actor, especially in a musical? More than anything. I just want to perform, not be a leading actor, I just like the thrill of communicating a part to an audience; being a part of a story. In the meantime, I'll entertain my cats with Broadway songs and goofy antics. I'll practice my dancing with my coworkers and characters. So I won't give up on what I want, but I won't forget that I'm not just some 'plain Jane' because I'm actually good at something -- multiple somethings. And you're good at something too.