Look, I understand that we all have things going on at different times in our lives. It happens. Sh*t comes along unexpectedly, people get pregnant, lose their jobs, get a second job, go to school, have no money, etc. Anything can happen at any time, and that's just life.
Something I've come across recently that's bothered me to no end and continues to are people that I befriend that don't understand how busy my life is, and try to insert themselves into it all on their own. When they realize that they can't do that because I can't squeeze in time for them at their convenience, they get angry and upset with me.
Please, for the love of sugar, don't be this person. It shows an ultimate weakness in not only you but in a friendship. A friendship that can be so solid and immediately crumble to the ground and rain ashes like Pompeii.
Photo by freestocks.org
Once a friendship has taken a turn such as this one, it's possible to turn it around, but it doesn't always work out this way. If a friendship takes this turn and doesn't change directions, it's not meant to be.
Relative to my article about friendships not lasting when people want to be there for you when it's convenient for them, this one's a keeper too.
As much as I hate socializing with random people that I don't know, I actually make friends while I'm at work. As miserable of a day as I can be having, it can immediately turn around when I start talking to a customer about life, college, our manicures, or how much we hate other rude people. It clicks so fast and I find that I have more friends after that. It doesn't take much to please me as a friend…
I can confidently say I've met 8-9 people from working my job that I am now friends with and talk to often, even hang out with outside of work. Those friends have become some of my closest friends in the shortest amount of time I'd ever imagine it happening. So the length of a friendship isn't what counts; it's, in fact, the quality of the friendship. To make me a person that is happy to be friends with you, I ask kindly that you: don't harass me about not making enough time for you, don't contact me when it's only convenient for you and not always for me, and to be honest with reasons why you can't hang out or talk right then. We can plan another time to hang out or text, it's okay. I'm understanding that life throws lots at us.
I, myself, work a part-time retail job and am also taking 4 summer classes this hot-as-heck summer vacation. I'm a very busy girl with my Mondays through Thursdays consumed with classes and driving straight to work. I'm lucky if I get weekend days off to see my boyfriend, friends, family, to get my schoolwork done, and to even relax a little bit. It's a heavy load, and lots of my friends can vouch for me, it is TIRING. But I make it happen somehow. I can't say I'm not constantly stressed out, sleep deprived, and cranky, but I make it happen and live through it.
Photo by Abbie Bernet
Because of this, I am a very understanding and concerning person for those good and genuine friends of mine that also work very hard or are struggling somehow. It's common, normal, and it's ok to turn down an invitation to hang out with me even if it's my only day off. I do it too, and it's because we need to take care of ourselves first.
The thing I think is silly and toddler-ish is making a bigger deal out of a friendship than it needs to be. If I can't even make time for myself to relax or catch up on school work or to respond to your text message, I'm sorry honey, but our friendship is clearly over.
I'll stop putting in the effort when the action is reciprocated; not even because I ignore someone first, but because it will seem as if I am when really, I'm just at work or asleep.
Give me enough time and convenience, and I'll make the time to see you or contact you. I love my friends and they mean the world to me, I just can't stand this type of standoff-ish behavior.
Photo by Bewakoof.com Official
Thank you for coming to my most recent Ted Talk.