If There Is One Thing You Need To Learn About Your S.O Right Now, It's Their Love Language
Start writing a post
Relationships

If There Is One Thing You Need To Learn About Your S.O Right Now, It's Their Love Language

There are five key love languages, what happens to be yours?

12
If There Is One Thing You Need To Learn About Your S.O Right Now, It's Their Love Language

Getting to truly know someone takes a long time. Every day you learn something new about your friends, significant others and family members.

So, why is it that as we get further into relationships we start assuming our loved ones can read our minds about what we want and need?

The truth is, we will never be able to read their minds. However, if you want to get pretty close to reading their minds, I recommend you learn their love language.

The concept of love languages was created by relationship counselor, Gary Chapman. The big picture of this concept is that we all express love differently, and sometimes, understanding those differences can give you insight into what your partner actually desires. There are five main ways we, as humans, express love.

Words of affirmation: Expressing love through spoken or written words. This includes written or oral reminders of appreciation, attraction, praise or affection.

Acts of service: Expressing love through helpful actions. This includes anything that makes your partner's life easier, such as: doing chores for them, making them a home-cooked meal or recording their favorite show.

Receiving gifts: Expressing love through symbolic gifts. This includes picking up souvenirs while you're away, surprising them with flowers or making a homemade gift.

Quality time: Expressing love through undivided, undistracted attention. This includes practicing a hobby together, talking about your day together or planning a date.

Physical touch: Expressing love through physical affection. This includes being intimate, hugging, public displays of affection or a shoulder to lean on.

Everyone, to some extent, values all these love languages, but most of the time, we have one or two languages that we value more than others.

For example, I know that I am a sucker for words of affirmation and acts of service. I personally feel the most loved when someone tells me out loud how much they love me. I also find it easiest to feel gracious when someone goes out of their way to make my life easier, like driving me to an appointment.

For a long time, I would often feel confused and unloved in my relationships.

After some research into this theory, and some serious self-reflection, I realized that my way of expressing and receiving love is not the only way to do it. What I viewed as my partners being distant, was actually just them having a different love language than I did.

There is a level of solace and understanding that comes when you realize you and your partner's love language. For example, my current partner is the complete opposite of me.

Of course, I am sure he appreciates how I compliment him to extremes and fold his laundry, but the reality is we have different love languages. Instead of sweet words and chores, he shows his love through signs of affection and giving me undivided attention.

When I realized "emotional mushy stuff" AKA, words of affirmation wasn't his love language, I learned to show that I care in ways that make sense to him, like hugs and building Minecraft houses together. Meanwhile, he learned that extra reassurance makes me feel extra loved. On the flip side, we also learned how we don't express affection. We both scored low on the giving and receiving gifts love language.

Love languages may not be the bandaid to every relationship issue you have, but knowing what's important to your loved ones can improve and maintain every relationship.

Learning love languages can help you communicate with your loved ones a little more efficiently, put things into perspective and may even teach you how to love yourself better too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

To My Fellow Girls With Resting B**** Face

A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.

366
Jupe du Jour

To the girl with resting b**** face:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

2886
J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

14019
Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.

11403

Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less
google images

Fashion just keeps growing and changing and old trends are made new! Now, I'm no beauty guru, just a beauty guru wannabe, but personally I have compiled some stylish wardrobe must haves! These can be cute assets to go back to school or just to catch up on some of the latest trends...

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments