Well, it SUCKS.
No, seriously, it’s one of the most painful things that the world can put people through.
Let’s start from the beginning. Everyone has the moment they meet their best friend. Whether it be a comforting smile in a class full of cold strangers, a mutual passion for dance (and a mutual hatred for those who can’t), or a relatable friend’s friend’s friend with whom you clicked, that moment is unforgettable because it, literally, changed your life.
After a few awkward hangouts and the typical “getting to you know” question game (yikes), you really start to get each other. You know that when your bestie says she’s hungry, she really means: “I expect you to be at my place with Chinese in 20.” You take days to go to downtown and explore the city, spending half your time making inside jokes out of the most random things, and the other half fangirling about the latest episode of Gossip Girl or how ridiculous it was that Sandra thought she killed her audition, but her dancing was average at best. You binge on each other’s junk food (and Netflix shows), choreograph bomb hip-hop combos, whine about unreasonable teachers and tests, and laugh as loud as humanly possible with each other. Your best friend becomes the person you would spend time with at any chance, anytime.
And then, things get serious. Something happens, or she finally opens up to you, and your best friend lets all her demons out. She tells you everything she’s ever been sad about, the worst things that have happened to her, and shows all her broken pieces to you, in hopes that you’ll understand. All you want to do is tell her she has your heart and hold her as tight as possible in hopes that her broken pieces will stick together again. You go through many heartbreaking, sentimental, let-it-all-out talks, and sometimes, you even go through the same situations that bring such feelings. After a while, you and your best friend have shown each other the purest forms of yourselves, and know that NO ONE, not now nor ever, will know you like the other does.
At this point, your best friend can be the person you laugh about dumb jokes with at 2 a.m., or the person you go to when you feel like your world is falling apart. She is everything to you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
And then comes graduation.
You couldn’t be happier that she’s going to an amazing university, where she can pursue what she wants and further her career, but a small part of you cannot stop screaming. Screaming because you can no longer freak out over boys with her by your side, screaming because you won’t have a study buddy who knows how you operate, screaming because she won’t be there when you need to cry over or yell at or celebrate all the moments of life, screaming because… the one person whose side you have never left is finally leaving yours. Regardless, you smile it all away and cherish the last moments you and your bestie have at being the “dynamic duo.”
The separation occurs, and you both smile and beam of happiness out of excitement for this new step in your lives. You promise that nothing will change and assure each other nothing will be different -- you will still be each other’s go to’s. At about a month into your first semester, you realize that there is only some truth to that statement. You call and update each other regularly, and are still #1 in each other’s hearts, but it’s different. Your best friend is no longer there to experience things with you, to grab and rant to the minute something crazy happens, to hug and yell at (depending on what stupid thing she did this time!), or to be there when you need someone who knows you, and will comfort you no matter how unreasonable or petty you’re being. Finding time in her busy schedule that matches up with your free time becomes a hassle, and visiting each other’s colleges seems unfathomable. You worry that soon, she will find another… you, at her university. You can feel that because you cannot be there with her, slowly, you and your best friend are fading from each other’s lives.
Back to me. Let me tell you, being able to feel yourself distance from the person for whom you would do anything is the WORST feeling in the world. Which is why no one should let it happen. So your best friend goes to a college that's hours away from yours -- why should that stop you? You didn’t slay your high school years together to end your friendship when it got hard! You do whatever it takes. Take a weekend off from partying and go see your bestie. Make yourself free for an hour every day, yes, even when you’d rather be sleeping, to FaceTime her and update each other on your lives. Make plans to see each other when both of you are home. With a little bit of effort (built only on the already unbreakable friendship), introducing your best friend to your kids one day is not so implausible.
What I’m trying to say is, high school friendships may seem to fade in importance once college experiences kick in -- because a friend that has held your hair back when you were puking trumps any other one, right? While partially accurate, many people forget all the hellraising, heartbreaking, and just plain fun experiences that their high school best friend was with them for during all of high school. Cherish your friendships (because you still don’t know why your bestie put up with you), and never, NEVER, let them go: at least without a hell of a memory of you.
Oh, and forgive them for choosing Texas A&M over UT. Hook ‘em.
