Everyone hits a point in their lives when they start to think, 'Man, I'm getting old.'
A lot of people take that feeling and turn it into an opportunity to get a new car or dye their hair. I've seen, however, that a lot of parents have been taking to more extreme ways of coping. For instance, my mother moved across the country. I know of men who divorce their wives, people that quit their jobs, anything just a little too much to cope with that feeling of midlife that you can name. I'm here to tell parents just what it means to their children.
They're floaters.
If you decide to move across the country or out of the country or sell your house in hopes of living in your sweet new bachelor pad, your child IS affected. For instance, my dad moved across the country about three years ago and is now selling the only house I still have the ability to call 'home.' How do you think that makes me feel when I go to school in Kentucky and won't have a place to come home for the holidays because he wants to live in his cool new loft and not our house. My doctor called me a 'floater,' meaning I have no sense of stability and no home base. I know A LOT of people who feel this way as their parents follow their dreams and move around, especially when your children aren't even established as their own people yet.
For Christ's sake, stop getting divorced.
I get that you want to sow your wild oats or whatever, but Jesus! Is it really necessary? Just stick it out until your bald spot gets big enough that you stop caring and you get over how you're feeling.
Just because you want to travel, doesn't mean your kids want to.
A lot of my friends whose parents are doing that thing where they sell their house and move into a place unsuitable for any guest have been fed the line that 'We'll just travel and go cool places when you're supposed to be home." That's cool and all, but I've never wanted to sleep more than I do over Christmas break and if you're telling me we're gonna do some kind of destination Christmas during which I can't sleep, I'm going to yell and it's going to be loud.
We're not ungrateful, we just need you to be a parent.
I know it's hard to believe, but once your kids move out, go to college, whatever they're doing, YOU'RE STILL THEIR PARENT. Take a breather, go on vacation, do what you need to do to unwind after the nest empties, but you still need to understand that they need their parents. They need a place to come home to, maybe a little less divorce, a little less sports cars, a little less hair dyeing. We understand that you're going through something, but you're still our moms and our dads. Please start acting like it.
Sincerely,
A Pissed Off 'Floater'
