9 Things You Should Know If Your Parents Are Getting Divorced
Start writing a post
Relationships

9 Things You Should Know If Your Parents Are Getting Divorced

Different doesn't always have to mean bad.

741
9 Things You Should Know If Your Parents Are Getting Divorced

Divorce is a tough thing. I'm not going to make any bones about it. At one time or another you're going to feel conflicted, worried, or simply scared because so much change is happening all at once. Maybe you didn't see it coming, or maybe you did and that's why you're so freaked out. Something you thought would never actually happen has actually come to a head. And nobody told you how exactly to go about this.

1. You are not alone.

There are between 42% and 45% of marriages that end in divorce in the society that we currently live in. That number can look pretty scary to someone who might be about to get married, or a young girl who is obsessed with the idea of love. But for a kid whose parents have been divorced for 12 years, it kind of relieves you. For all of you about to go through this—you've got so many people around you who know exactly how you feel.

2. There will be a ton of positives that come from this change.

Let's say you grew up like me (because I know that a lot of you have). I don't remember a time when my parents got along. I have no lucid memories of them laughing with one another or showing any form of affection at all, really. So, when they finally separated, I saw a huge change in each of them. My mom was way less stressed. And my dad was way less annoyed. They both seemed so much calmer and there was an air of relief that I was not at all accustomed to. This was really great because in the end, it meant more happiness from both of my parents.

3. The idea of two Christmases isn't all its cracked up to be.

This is my personal least favorite part about this whole gig. Just as I've finished opening my presents and getting to pass around different gadgets with my cousins, I'm whisked away to the next house. I don't have time to enjoy my cousins on either side or my parents for that matter. They're both too busy making sure that the other has us their right on time. Of course, we are loved on twice as much, and in the end I have to be thankful that I have two families to visit.

4. You're going to need two of a lot of things.

You're about to transition into a really weird game of musical houses. You need to spend an allotted amount of time with each parent which means that once you get settled in you're about to get packed right back up. And if you're like me, you can never remember to pack everything that you actually need. A good solution to this is to get two of all of the essentials. Things like toiletries, shampoos, face washes and undergarments are the things I find myself needing the most, but remembering the least. Walmart will be your best friend.

5. Some people are going to choose sides—but you DON'T have to.

It was super weird to hear one of my parents say that we wouldn't be hanging out with certain family friends as much anymore, but be going to dinner all together with the other parent the very next night. The harsh truth is that people are going to take sides. This, however, does NOT mean that you have to. Both of your parents love you. Neither of your parents blame you. Nobody wants you to sever your relationship with someone who is so vital to your life and mental health. You are not expected to understand everything and you most certainly have every right to love both of your parents with all of your heart.

6. You might not handle things the same way as your siblings.

My brother and I had two totally different experiences with our parents' divorce. It really hit him hard while I created this giant wall around me that I have yet to completely tear down. He allowed himself to feel everything that came with this huge change and I told myself that everyone needed me to be really strong. We couldn't always relate to each other. Sure, we were always together and it made it really easy to feel like you weren't alone, but it was kind of hard to actually talk to each other about what we were feeling. But that was really okay. We were there physically for a hand to hold and a buddy to crawl into bed with and that is almost exactly what you'll need a lot of the time.

7. Your friends are going to ask all sorts of questions.

You're not going to know how to answer all of them. And you don't have to. Mostly, people just care, but sometimes people are also just nosy. Your business is your business. Don't feel like you are compelled to share everything with people just because they're your friends. You can keep anything private that you want to.

8. You might relate more with one parent than the other.

This does not mean that you love one of your parents more. This does not mean that you are taking sides. This simply means that what's inside of you helps you understand and sympathize with one of your parents more than the other. You are not in the wrong for feeling this way and it certainly doesn't make you a bad child. Your parents won't blame you and their love for you will surpass any and all of these obstacles.

9. You are going to be just fine.

This can be a large feat. It can drag on for way longer than you'd like. But no matter what happens, you are going to be alright. You have so many resources that you can reach out to for help coping. There are so many people in this world who can relate to your situation and would be happy to lend a listening ear. Your parents want to help in any way they can, so let them. You are going to be okay, because this turmoil is not going to last forever.

Give yourself some time. Make sure that you are allowing yourself to honestly react, and that you don't limit your heart to feel a certain amount of things. Divorce can be a lot of things. Mostly, it will be unexpected. But the thick of things will be fleeting. Your new normal will being to gain feelings of comfort quickly. And you will be stronger because of this.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55580
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35833
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957843
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

186216
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments