Dear parents:
I know that you all feel compelled to raise us children with the anachronistic standards of yesteryear, but I feel like it's time to move on. Not only is your method of child-rearing terribly inefficient, it also practically destroys any amount of trust between you and your kids. It's time for parenting to actually pull itself into the 21st century instead of being caught up in the 1960s with all your "when-I-was-a-kids" and "you-and-your-cell-phones" (which, I'd like to note, almost all of you use pretty heavily as well).
Bottom line is, most parents don't have a parenting style that actually works. Yes, I'll agree, the children stay alive, and that's probably the whole point of raising kids; however, most children grow up emotionally stunted, incapable of expressing themselves clearly, or adopt undesirable personality traits of their parents. In short, parents can't distance their emotions and first impulses from actually doing what is best for their child. Let's do a case study:
Becky is five years old. When she drops something on the ground accidentally, her mother yells at her out of stress, quickly calms down, and then apologizes. If this was an isolated incident, it would be fine, but Becky's mother continues to yell after Becky's accidents throughout her young life, then quickly calms down, and then apologizes. Becky is now sixteen. Her friend is holding her books, fumbles while shifting them from one arm to another, and accidentally drops the stack on Becky's foot.
"Christ! Can't you actually watch what the heck you're doing?" Becky shouts. Her friend is upset, because Becky just yelled at her, like Becky's mother did to her whenever Becky made a mistake. Since this is the way that Becky's mom coped with problems, it seems only natural that Becky would grow up believing that it's okay to blow up on someone, as long as you apologize afterwards.
Most parents of the 21st century are, sadly, like Becky's mother. They can't separate what is good to do, and what they want to do.
With technology on the rise, it seems natural that a parent should be concerned about what their child is doing online. After all, they're putting themselves out into a world where anonymity is the norm, and everyone in the world could see what your kid is doing with a quick Google search. That being said, it really isn't the best idea to take up your child's devices at random and go through their private messages, especially if they haven't done anything to provoke your intrusion. Just like any autonomous adult, a child has their right to privacy. Maybe they aren't doing anything wrong, but teenage Janice doesn't want you to see her gross, romantic messages to her boyfriend. The best approach, from what I've experienced in order to monitor what your child does online, is to strike early. Create a strong, trusting relationship with your child. And then, when they feel like being on social media, let them know that you're here for them, and that you'll help them with any trouble they get into. If something goes wrong, your child will definitely feel comfortable enough to come and talk to you. Taking up their devices only perpetuates the secretive behavior which you are trying so hard to stamp out and permanently damages the child's ability to trust their parents.
2016 is not 1975. Parenting styles can't just magically transfer from one decade to another. As the world changes, so must the parents change. In essence, a parent's job is to make sure their kid grows up happy, healthy, and capable of being an adult. If a child grows up and is stunted in some way, or incapable of doing things that normal adults are supposed to do, then you have failed. Spankings, groundings, and aggressive assertions of behavior aren't the way to get your kid to listen to you. Instead, it's highly likely that the kid will just end up resenting you instead, and thus even less inclined to pay attention to things that you want them to do. Parenting today is basically a positive feedback loop. How you treat your children only increases the problem, instead of solving it.
I'd also like to implore you parents not to just simply write me off as a "complaining teenager." I'm not five. I am capable of creating my own opinions, researching them, and validating them with facts. To ignore my claims is to say that I deserve less respect than I should pay to you, and as my letter has proven, paying your children less respect than you expect from them only gives you fistfuls of hair and an inept 25-year-old son.
Sincerely,
Your children.
