Good ol' Pandora. You are there for me when SoundCloud malfunctions, and when 8tracks can't seem to match a playlist to my mood. You aren't nearly as complicated to use as Spotify, and way more up to date than my iTunes Library. The best part is I don't even have to pay for your love to get the gift of skipping 6 songs an hour. Sure, your ads can get repetitive and annoying, but I know that's the only way you can make enough money to survive. Out of all these things, the most I love about you is that you have a station for everything, literally. Here is a list of stations Pandora has created for the most specific of situations.
Yacht Rock Radio: Not to be confused with regular rock. No, no, this is much different. God forbid Metallica came on when you were trying to relax on the ocean. Music from Steely Dan, Fleetwood Mac, and Toto should set the mood just right. You may listen to this station if you are a bachelor in your 60's whose interests include cuban cigars, younger women, and taking your yacht out on the weekends.
Rap Strength Training Radio: For when you are strength training and want to listen to rap, duh. Don't listen to this station while doing cardio, or else. You know that meathead in the gym who never re-racks his weights and spends most of his workout flexing in the mirror? Chances are this is what he is listening to. So if you're ever strength training and want to listen to rap, remember this station- also remember to re-rack your weights. No one likes it when you don't re-rack your weights.
Hipster BBQ Radio: What music does this station play you ask? I would say a mix of indie-rock post punk revival contemporary. But I don't really like to put a label on things. If it weren't for this station, I would have nothing to play at the hipster BBQ's I throw weekly in my backyard. Every song on this station I heard first though, so its like borderline mainstream. Also I just want to say that I was the first person to rock a band tee and a flannel. Only thing wrong with this station is that I can't convert it to vinyl.
Film Scores Radio: Do you ever feel like your life should be a movie? Well now it can be, kind of. Film Scores Radio plays tracks from the Titanic, Finding Nemo, and even Halo 3. So next time you're feeling like you need a little background music to accompany your (un)interesting daily routine, pop in your headphones and click on this station. Or play it aloud from your phone, that's way more realistic and definitely won't annoy anyone around you.
Classical Dinner Party Radio: Just in case you ever have the President over and need to get real fancy, real fast. Pull out the fine China and the table cloth that you aren't actually supposed to spill anything on because its too expensive. This array of music will be sure to remind you to never rest your elbows on the table and always sit up straight. Is it just me or is it ironic that the word "classical" and "party" are in the same sentence here?
Classic Soul BBQ Radio: Not exactly sure why Pandora has a fascination with BBQ's, but i'll take it. Here is a station for when you want to jam out to some Marvin Gaye during a barbecue.... can't picture it? Neither can I, glad we're on the same page.
Bro Country Radio: For bros when they're in the country. Or for Country bros, or maybe only bros singing country? You get the idea.
Salsa de Nueva York Radio: I honestly don't know one drop of Spanish, but after putting this through a translator it came up with "New York Salsa." I haven't quite figured out what makes New York salsa music different than any other salsa music, maybe it has a heavy accent, not sure. Anyway, when you're in New York and feeling a little ~spicy~, remember there's a station for that!
I applaud your creativity, Pandora.
