When I think of a crush, it usually takes me back to middle school or high school. Back to when boys made you giggle and beards were gross. Having a crush is not something a twenty-something college student has, right? Wrong.
Having a crush in college is sometimes masked as, but not limited to, any of the following:
- “We’re talking.”
- “We hook up.”
- “We’re into each other.”
- “It’s not that serious.”
- “It’s complicated.”
I’m not talking about , oh-he’s-so-cute-from-afar-but-I’ve-never-even-spoken-to-him kind of deal. I’m talking about the I-see-him-and-talk-to-him-so-often-that-it’s-not-fair kind of situation. So then you admit you have a crush, and move on with life, school, work, obligations, family, and friends. Except you think about that person. A lot. You dream about that person. Every night. You can’t wait to see that person and hope to run into them anywhere you go. It’s absolutely disgusting the way you feel about this other human being, because you spend so much time thinking and dreaming about them! You honestly just want to get back to your selfish ways of looking out for me, myself, and I.
For the ambitious people out there, a crush is no problem. Talk to the person, get to know them. Connect with their common intersects and decide whether this person is worth your time after you have gotten to know them better. For the shy-type, you may exchange a few glances, give a few hints, and hope that this individual notices you are interested. For the faint-of-heart, you doubt yourself, convince yourself that they would never go for anyone like you, and ultimately condemn any thought of being with them.
But for many of us here in limbo, there is absolutely nothing we can do to elevate the gut-wrenching feeling of seeing your crush. Nothing we can do because they are taken. He’s your professor who is married with three kids. He is your neighbor who is engaged with wedding plans. He is your best friend who has a longtime girlfriend. He is the delivery boy who dates your step-sister. He is your brother’s best friend who sleeps around. No matter the situation, the fact remains that they cannot be yours.
It’s painful, yes, but that is a part of life. You have to remind yourself that this person is not single at this point in time, while you are single, because perhaps it was just not meant to be. Perhaps your paths crossed for different reasons, but having an attraction to this person has temporarily blinded that reason. All you can do is live your life and see what time brings. So for now, stop the fantasies, and remember that you are destined for a man who is 100 percent single and 100 percent yours and yours alone.
