I just read a wonderful novel: Swagger by Carl Deuker. A YA novel, a sports novel, a novel about friendship and loss and abuse. I highly recommend it. It is incredibly realistic and also incredibly emotionally painful.

I wondered, after I finished it, why I liked the book so much. Why did I love those moments that were the most painful; why did those moments of tension, of heartbreak, of loss, move me so much and excite me?

I think, because they are beautiful.

This is also why I love creative writing, and specifically writing about some painful things. Writing enables you to capture something beautiful, if only for a moment—often in a moment that is, objectively, less than beautiful.

I guess that might sound like a bunch of abstract bologna, so let me explain.

Why the Darkness?

I’ve received comments before about the darkness of my writing (it’s not really that dark in comparison to others’, but thank you anyway), as if people are disturbed that I write about such painful things, like physical, emotional, and sexual abuse; absent or uncaring parents; depression; mental illness; alcoholism; and on and on.

There are a bunch of reasons why I write about such things, but one reason is because these horribly dark situations often serve to reveal the best of humanity. I’ve found this to be true in real life, but the writer can make it even truer in fiction—pressing the characters until the pain is so great they break and out comes the gold.

This is why I like Deuker’s Swagger so much. Swagger shocks the reader with a sudden, horrible situation—and then makes it worse, and worse, and worse. And the best of the characters shines through.

My character might be, outwardly and in his own mind, a tough, independent, assured guy; comfortable and on a mission. But when something pains him—when someone he loves is hurt, or killed, or someone he trusted betrays him—he naturally becomes vulnerable, and at some point, if the pain is great enough, he will acknowledge those vulnerabilities himself. He realizes he is scared, or sad, or angry, or wants to kill himself, or guilty—he realizes he cares about (loves) someone, and that that caring is in fact the cause of the pain. If he didn’t care (love), he wouldn’t feel pain. But because he does care, this horrible situation reveals just how much he does love that person—and so what is emphasized is love.

These horrible situations also serve to show, by default, who really cares and who doesn't. As they say, it's only when something awful happens in your life that you know who your real friends are.

Yes, I’m a sucker. A character is abandoned or abused by his father; this is terrible, but someone else comes along and takes the father’s place, or tries to, out of love, and this character learns to trust and realizes someone does care about him. That other person many never normally have shown much love, but because of the awful situation, he does, and the characters become more open and honest than ever before. They know they are loved.

An Example

Take The Outsiders. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. Everything that happens in the book is pretty awful: Mr. and Mrs. Curtis have already died, leaving their oldest son to raise his brothers; Darry hits Ponyboy; Johnny kills a boy; Sandy gets pregnant by another boy and leaves Soda; Johnny dies; Dallas dies. Yet it is because of all these things that the boys learn more about each other and open up to each other. The Curtis brothers become closer, especially after Ponyboy realizes Darry is tough on him only because he doesn’t want him to go off and do something stupid and die, as their parents died. Darry hitting Ponyboy causes Ponyboy to run away, which only increases Darry’s concern and worry and leads eventually to Ponyboy’s realization that Darry does love him, and the reunification of the brothers. Because Johnny kills a Soc, Johnny and Pony run away and become closer, and Johnny realizes that Dallas cares about him. When Sandy leaves, Soda finally breaks down and begs his brothers not to fight any more, which leads to a truce and increased understanding between the brothers. Johnny’s death causes Dallas to break, but along with breaking comes opening up, and Dallas does open up, making it clear that he cares about Johnny and wants to die because of Johnny’s death. In other words, Johnny’s death reveals Dallas’ depth of feeling and love, something that might never have been revealed otherwise. And Dallas’ death encourages the boys to value each other a little more, and perhaps show their love for each other more often, not waiting for a moment of death to uncover it instead.

Another Example

Or, take the CW show Supernatural. SPOILERS AHEAD HERE TOO! Talk about a dark story. Not only are there various horrible, creepy monsters, but there is a lot of death, too. Lots of it. It’s not good at all—it’s awful—but every time, it shows just how much the characters care about each other. I think specifically of all those times Dean and Sam (the two main characters, and brothers) have died. When Sam dies (or comes close to death), Dean is devastated, and will do anything to get his brother back. The same goes for Sam when Dean dies or is close to death. This serious, unconditional love only really reveals itself when one or the other is in some danger. Thus, the more danger they are put in, the more we see them care about each other. The more danger they are in, the more beauty we see.

So really, I write about horrible situations because I’m a sap and I like seeing characters realize their love for each other. Because most of the time, the deepest, purest form of a love isn’t revealed until the object of that love is threatened.

Awwww.