Painful But True Facts of Life

Painful, but true, facts that you probably already know but never want to actually hear:

  1. Santa clause is fake.

  2. Your parents still have sex.

  3. And if your parents are divorced or single, they’re still getting it from somewhere else.

  4. People judge you based on appearance.

  5. Fruit covered in chocolate is not considered healthy.

  6. People in china actually do eat dogs.

  7. You probably, definitely are friends with someone who has an STD.

  8. Now that you’re in college, anything academically noteworthy you did in high school will most likely never be looked at again.

  9. Men still make more than women financially.

  10. You have a 1/1,780,678,000,000 chance of winning the lottery…ever.

  11. Your dog doesn’t understand anything that you say to them, nor will they ever.

  12. Maybe money can't buy happiness but it sure as hell helps.

  13. You will never eat a healthy meal that is less expensive than McDonalds.

  14. Reaching a certain number of likes on an Instagram can actually get you famous.

  15. Pets don’t mix with parties.

  16. You will be forever in debt to your parents, primarily from your twenties.

  17. The guy that bought you drinks all night honestly has no desire to do anything but get in your pants, for the most part.

  18. You will lose touch with some of your closest high school friends by the end of your college career.

  19. Technology isn’t going away anytime soon.

  20. Marijuana is still illegal in over half of the states in the US.

  21. At least one person in your immediate family will become an alcoholic.

  22. You cannot out-run a wild animal, no matter how fast you think you are.

  23. College doesn’t last forever.

  24. The characters in your favorite TV show are not real, nor will they ever be.

  25. There is no medically proven cure to a hangover.
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