The time has come. You've spent weeks pouring over catalogs and lists, preparing for move in day. The color schemes have been coordinated, the shopping trips have concluded and the boxes have piled up. Now, all that's left is to pack up the car. Naturally, you (and your mom) are going to worry that something has been left behind. Extra sheets? Check. Shower caddy? Check. Flash drive? Check. You probably aren't thinking about what not to bring. While most schools provide a list of these restricted items, there's one thing that won't be found on the list that you certainly don't want to welcome into your college dorm: your emotional baggage.
College is a time for new beginnings. For many people, it is a brand new setting with brand new people. How can you welcome in a fresh start when the past is still lingering? It will be difficult to bond with new friends and form new relationships if you are still holding onto negative feelings. Can you truly enjoy late night Netflix binges with your roommate if every episode reminds you of an old friend that betrayed you? When the cute boy in chemistry asks to buy you a coffee, is your first thought going to be of the high school boyfriend that broke your heart? While these events may have defined your high school experience, they do not need to define the next four years of your life.
Learn from your mistakes and move on. Holding onto feelings of anger and hurt are only going to hold you back from moving onto better things. Forgive the girl that wasn't there for you when you needed a friend, and learn what it means to be a good friend to someone. Forgive the boy that made you feel unwanted, and remember that you are deserving of love and happiness. Forgive the teacher that insulted your work, and use their words to continue improving. Forgive the coach that told you that you were not good enough, and remember that you will always be enough for the right person. Forgive the family member that was insensitive to your feelings, and remember to always be sensitive to the feelings of others. By forgiving others, you are not allowing them to get away with causing you pain. You are giving up the hold that the pain has over you.
Of course, the past is not to be forgotten. Bring pictures and collages of your favorite high school memories; they will bring you comfort when you feel homesick. Share funny stories with your new friends. Go visit your teachers when you're home on break. You need your past, just as a tree needs its roots to grow. It has shaped who you are, but do not let it define who you will be. The best years of your life are coming for you. Welcome them with open arms. Do not let fear, anger or hurt hold you back.
As move in day quickly approaches, remember that you define what your experience will be. Be open to new friendships and relationships. Look forward to new experiences. Cherish the people that have stuck by your side. Bring with you a toothbrush and forgiveness, and leave the candles and emotional baggage at home.
