As a pacifist, I've always been conflicted about celebrating Veteran's Day. Today, more than ever, I find it a difficult, troubling proposition. I wonder what the military will become under the new President Elect. If he orders them to fire on unarmed civilians in war zones, will they? (And I know the chain of command is more complex than that, but still.) If he supports and encourages torture of POWs, will they comply? When a person so ethically and morally corrupt as he is in charge of the most elite fighting force in the world, does that force have a responsibility to him directly because of the office he holds, or does their responsibility rest in their purpose as protectors of the freedoms they vow to uphold? Does that include protecting the populace from him, should such a time come that it would be necessary?

As stories of the eruptions violence against "others" across the nation circulate, I'm faced with other questions as well. If I see someone being harassed, how will I respond? We all want to think that we won't be bystanders, but so often we rationalize that decision by considering what we and our loved one have to lose if we put ourselves in harm's way. Will I be brave enough to step forward, to speak up, to place myself in the path of harm in order to prevent someone else from being hurt?

How can I be a pacifist and still resist oppression and marginalization? What does it mean to be a warrior when I believe in non-violence? I don't have an answer for these questions. There's a Chinese proverb (the origin is questionable; I can't find the original source) that popped up in my Facebook feed today. It says, "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener during a war," but I'm not sure about that.

My favorite book of all time is The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien. In brief, the main character and his trusty sidekick, who happens to be a gardener, set out to destroy an artifact which would allow an evil overlord to rule the world with no hope of stopping him. They pass through many perils, and along with a collection of friends, fight many battles on the way to saving the world. I've always loved that book because it's about good overcoming evil and about how a small but determined group of people can persevere and push back the darkness. In this sense, the books were always more metaphor and allegory than reality.

I don't have an answer to what it will mean to be a pacifist in a time of activism, but I know I cannot be a bystander.