Politics. Religion. Gun control. Abortion. Terrorism. All of these issues, while important, pale in comparison to the necessity of the Oxford comma. We need to bring it back. Anything else is absolute madness.
Let me explain.
Let us, for instance, say that you are writing a list of people you want to invite to your birthday party, or something. I dunno; it really does not matter. And you decide you want to invite your parents, your wife, and your son (fun party, make sure not to party too hard).
Would it make sense to write, "I want to invite my parents, my wife and my son." What are you, sick? Your wife and son are your parents? How is that even possible? Madness!
With the Oxford comma, you get a less disturbing, "I want to invite my parents, my wife, and my son." Three different parties. Three different relationships.
Without an Oxford comma, you just committed several crimes, both legal and logical, without even batting an eye.
And yet so many publications and forums (including The Odyssey, and I apologize to my editors for the headache that this article will be when it comes to editing it) allow this linguistic anarchy to take hold and rule the land that once belonged to the Oxford comma.
Still not convinced? How about another example.
Suppose you are having another birthday party. Maybe you are doing it to make a feeble attempt to quench that unbearable nihilism that consumes your monotonous life. Whatever the reason, it is time once again to plan for another party.
This time, you are planning on inviting some friends for an "after-funeral" costume party (did I say you had class?) and you want to impress your friends by inviting some of the most outlandish people you could think to invite.
So you decide to write, "I want to invite Donald Trump, a 100-year-old chainsaw juggler and the most intelligent man on the planet."
That sounds ridiculous, does it not? Trump is nowhere near balanced enough to be a chainsaw juggler (I can tell, I have a gift), and he is the farthest thing from the most intelligent man on the planet.
If you wrote, "I want to invite Donald Trump, a 100-year-old chainsaw juggler, and the author of this article," it would make a lot more sense.
The Oxford comma just saved you from calling Trump intelligent? Is there anything it cannot do?
Yet, we refuse to give it a chance. The poor Oxford comma could save us from embarrassing ourselves when we write articles, from calling GOP nominees intelligent, from breaking basic indecency laws, and from marrying your mother.
Please, I beg you to reconsider.
So much is at stake.
