There are two kinds of people in the world: dog people and cat people. Though it’s not always the case, dog people typically hate cats and think cat people are weird. Cat people typically hate cats too, but they accept that they're weird people, and they also find reasons to love cats.
From a weird person who usually enjoys owning two cats, here are some of the best and worst parts of cats:
Pros:
1. They're adorable.
Cat videos go viral for a reason. Cats are fun to watch play and they’re heart-meltingly cute. Anyone who says cats are never cute is lying to themselves.
2. They love you on their terms.
But when they love you, they really love you. Nothing beats when I'm sick and my cat comes to curl up in bed with me. Or when I'm sad and she sets a paw on my lap. I'm sure her motives are more selfish than they seem, but I'm just going to pretend like she does those things to make me feel better.
3. Dogs aren’t the only ones who get excited when you come home.
Even if they only think of you as a food-giver and heat source, cats will still greet you at the door and be happy to see you. (Then they rub all over your legs to convince you they love you, and you trip over them, and they run and hide because it scares them, and you're left half on the floor with bags of groceries scattered everywhere. But, you know, it's the thought that counts.)
4. A sleeping kitty is totally calming.
They say putting greenery in your space de-stresses you, but I think having a cat asleep in the chair next to you while you’re doing work is actually the most relaxing thing.
5. The sounds cats make are hilarious.
As a kid, you probably learned that cats say “meow,” but that's actually inaccurate. Cats make a plethora of meows, coos, purrs, yowls, chirps, barks and more.
6. Startled cats are hilarious, and startling a cat is an art.
One time, there was a 5.0 magnitude earthquake in my town, and while I was freaking out, my cat remained fast asleep. Yet, about a week ago, my stomach growled, and the cat jolted awake and leapt a couple inches. You never know what might scare a cat, but, no matter what, it’s always funny to watch it happen.
Cons
1. So many people are allergic to cats.
About 15 percent of Americans are allergic to household pets, and cat allergies are twice as common as dog allergies. However, about 1/3 of Americans with cat allergies own a cat anyway. So, checkmate, allergies -- cats still win.
2. You can never let your guard down with cats.
Cats think door frames make excellent scratching posts (never mind the perfectly fine actual scratching post five feet to the left). Your cat believes houseplants are nice toys (and excellent snacks). Also, never leave your plate unattended, or you'll end up shouting things like "GET YOUR PAW OUT OF MY SPAGHETTI." Forget having a normal household.
3. The hair.
It’s everywhere. Lint rollers are necessary and don’t even bother with black clothing. And the hairballs. Just... cats are gross.
4. The "attention double-standard."
If you ever interrupt a cat when she’s in the middle of doing something important (such as sleeping), you will be punished for it. However, it's greatly offensive when you’re working on the computer, reading, eating or literally anything else when the cat thinks you should be showing her attention. Expect interruptions in the form of a tail in your mouth or paws on your keyboard.
5. Sneak-attacks and plotting.
Cats will lie in wait for your feet to appear around a corner, then latch onto them for a millisecond before returning to the shadows. And sometimes they'll just stare at you -- or even worse, they'll stare directly behind you -- and you can't help but wonder what they're scheming.
6. It takes them less than 30 seconds to wreak absolute havoc.
If this didn’t sell cats to you, then you’re just not a cat person, and that’s OK. But if you’re one of those weird cat people, I’m sure this made you chuckle and/or cry at least once.
Remember the number one thing about owning cats: just as cats love you sometimes and hate you others, you have to treat them the same way.
