Standing in a dressing room, trying so desperately not to cry, when you hear your mom say, "Did anything fit?"
"No."
The perfect prom dress won't zip up in the back. There's no feeling like seeing the perfect piece of clothing and finding out that you won't be able to wear it. Even when your mom is forcing the zipper sliver by sliver up your back, you're waiting for the moment when she tells you it won't go up anymore, and you'll have to try on another dress. The real tears come when you slowly slide out of your perfect prom dress, a dress you'll probably see on another girl at prom (she'll look perfect in it too).
An "oversized" flannel looks big enough on the hanger, so why not try it on? It buttons, but the real problem is how it fits on your body. The fabric is not as forgiving as you'd hoped, and it stretches tight against your belly, which suddenly looks worse than it did when you didn't even have a shirt on. Your mom asks you to look in the adult women's department, when all of your friends are still wearing juniors or petite. Shopping amongst women twice your age because that's where you fit makes you cringe.
The jeans look good, but can you sacrifice breathing for the day? The next size up is just... too big. "These are supposed to be skinny jeans, Mom." Your mom won't let you buy the smaller size, so your consolation prize is extra oxygen you wouldn't have had with those smaller jeans...although you know if you were a bit smaller, you wouldn't have to compromise.
The shirt fits, but it doesn't look right. It's flowy and big and all the rage amongst your friends. But on you, it makes you look bigger. Smooth, but bigger. This is the hardest one, because although you look good, you can't help but think how big you'll next to your skinnier friends in the same shirt. Your mom recommends if you like it, you should buy it. It does look good, but it could look better.
Through all that, you have to look at your body between clothes. The curves that are a bit too big to be called curves. The stretch marks. The drooping arms or thick thighs. You've learned to love your body, but sometimes, it pains you to look because this is what limits you from the clothes you love so much.
Through five or six stores, you pile up clothes in your hand, even the ugly shirts, to find something that fits and looks good. Black makes people look skinnier, right? If it's bigger, I'll look skinnier, right? Can I hide behind this fabric?
You try to forget that your friends use your normal size for their oversize.You try to forget that a dress looks good on your friends and not on you.
But you will forget that this is hopeless.
You will find a dress that makes you look and feel beautiful. You will find that special shirt that you will buy no matter the price, because it will go perfectly with your favorite jeans. A special style of jeans make your butt look great, and your mom may even buy them for you. And if all those fail, there's always shoes. You can never go wrong with shoes. Shoes are a girl's best friend, not diamonds.
You may not be able to fit into everything, but that doesn't change how beautiful you look in the clothes that do fit. These experiences in the fitting rooms can be heartbreaking, but don't let them get you down. You are more than this.
Remember the feeling you get when you try on the perfect piece, not the appearance these other clothes give you.
Clothes don't define how pretty you are.
And you're beautiful.
