6 A.M. - BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

6:01 A.M. - If I just pretend to be dead, will I be able to miss work today?

6:02 A.M. - BEEEP BEEEP!

6:03 A.M. - You win this one alarm.

6:05 A.M. - Alright, teeth brushed, makeup, do I want to try a new look today?

6:08 A.M. - That looks HORRIBLE, why do I ever think to attempt wings? Ah, Alexis used my last makeup wipe, great.

6:10 A.M. - That catastrophe is over. Clothes need to go on body.

6:15 A.M. - Should I just accept my hair is always going to be a mess?

6:25 A.M. - Uber says the ride is coming, but there is no driver. Am I going to be late for work again? Why does Uber play with my heart this way?

6:28 A.M. - WHAT IF THE UBER NEVER COMES AND THEY HATE ME THERE? Oh, wait there we go, the guy is 19 minutes away, coolio.

6:29 A.M. - Food? I'm thinking food. Or do I bring it with me? Or do I get something from the vending machine? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

6:31 A.M. - Did I put deodorant on?

6:32 A.M. - Now I did.

6:35 A.M. - Now to sit and stare at the wall. My favorite pastime. Do you think they would make a competitive sport out of it? Usually, when I'm tired, wall staring is pretty much what I do in order to wake up in the morning. It's great, especially because our wall paper has this flower pattern. But it isn't even, so pretty much, you spend like 20 minutes trying to figure out the pattern.

6:48 A.M. - Ah, Uber is outside.

6:49 A.M. - Hello, how are you today? Good good. Oh, we're listening to Christian Rock today? Okay cool, I'm just going to tap on my phone for the entire duration of this ride.

6:50 A.M. - Hmm, I know that Jimmy is sound asleep right now. Let me mass text him.

6:51 A.M. - "Good morning cutie, what if Cthulhu is really just one of the giant squid that people started to spot while in the deep sea?"

6:52 A.M. - "What if we're really in the Matrix, but they made that movie so that people would think it is fiction, thus stopping people from staying woke?"

7:15 A.M. - Ah traffic, love it. So many people just mindlessly driving to work. Oh wait, I'm one of them.

7:20 A.M. - Okay, this is absolutely the worst. Bumper to bumper, where's the bridge, ah I just want some coffee in my system, why is that so hard to ask for? Is it Friday yet? Oh, wait no it's Monday, man I am beat.

7:24 A.M. - THE BEN FRANKLIN BRIDGE IS SCENIC. I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY. YOU CAN SEE ALL THE PHILLY SKYSCRAPERS IN THE DISTANCE, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY PRETTY.

7:34 A.M. - Thank you very much, have a nice day! Maybe if I get hit by one of the trailers, I can go home early.

7:35 A.M. - Alright, time to just quickly clock in, no big deal. *FINGER SCAN FAILED* Damn it.

7:37 A.M. - Good morning, everyone!

7:38 A.M. - C O F F E E!

7:39 A.M. - I need this to kick in like right now. OH WAIT, MY STREAKS!