I feel like I'm falling apart and coming together at the same time.
It's a weird feeling - I'm not sure if it's a good or bad one. Maybe it's a feeling with no clear leaning one way or the other.
I've been busier than I've ever been in my life and I don't know if I'm handling it well.
On one hand, I seem like I'm thriving. I have a lot of good things going for me as far as successes: I'm re-upping my internship as Chief of Staff at New York Minute Magazine, I'm graduating Stony Brook University this semester, I've applied for an internship and a freelance experience with two companies that I would love to work with (Spotify and The New York Times, respectively), and I've completely cut out soda from my diet (granted, it's only been a few days, but I haven't touched the stuff, which is a major victory in my sugar-addicted book).
What happens as a result of these personal successes (or what has been happening in my case) is that I'm having a hard time balancing it all with my social life. I'm dying to spend time with my friends and family, totally disconnected from anything work- or school-related, but it's like no matter where I go, my work comes with me.
Meetings three times one day and projects due the next and writing text for videos and obsessively going over my calendar and interviews and leadership and –
Is this what adult life is really like? Am I in a perpetual state of disbelief and keeping my head just above the metaphorical water? Or is there a better way to balance this than what I'm trying right now?
It feels weird to have to plan everything around a schedule, including hanging out with friends whom I haven't seen in what definitely is, without exaggeration, weeks. I feel like the little free time I do have, I just want to be alone and nurture myself instead of entertaining a group of people. Even just one person seems overwhelming at this point.
I'm proud of myself for where I am in my life right now. I could be doing much more, sure, but I could also be doing much less, which wouldn't necessarily be bad, either.
What I think I need to do is to find a happy medium in this self-created mess. I'm not overwhelmed, per say, but I'm at the precarious cliff side where, if I fall over the edge, I'm not sure I'll be able to get back up to where I was with ease.
