My mom has always had issues with having friends. She has told me from a very young age that girls are backstabbers and fake. I told her she just didn't make the right choices in friendships, but now that I'm older I can see what she meant. So thank you, mom, for trying to warn me about them years ago. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you; I thought I was different and that I knew how to find the people that were genuine and would be there for me. I was wrong...
To my best friend,
Now that I'm gone you don't have to worry about lying to me about who you're hanging out with. Even though I can still see the Snapchats. And y'all's locations. You think it's better that you both will send me the Snapchats of you hanging out. Obviously I care that y'all are hanging out, but I don't want to know every time. I can see you're at the mall with the girl I introduced you to. I can see you're at his apartment. I was scared for y'all to meet last year because I didn't think y'all would click, but apparently y'all are super close now. I'm scared you'll actually want to date him like I did, but he might be too short for your liking. I decided to remove myself from the situation as a whole, and I'm so glad I did. Now you don't have to fake invite me every time you want to see him. Don't pretend like you want to hang out with me too, when all you want is for me to bake cookies for y'all or buy you Taco Bell. You don't have to pretend to care that I'm upset that you cut me out of the plans.
Three really is a crowd, isn't it?
To one of my sisters,
I bet it's a relief for you that we don't talk anymore. Now you can hang out with her and get Mexican food with her like we always used to. Y'all aren't in the same sorority, but y'all find a way to hang out around each other's schedules. I'm happy that I don't have to sit in the car and listen to how much you can't stand this person because all she does is want to party. But that's all you want too, that's why we didn't hang out much, right? Because I would rather stay in than buy a fake ID and go out drinking every night. I didn't fit in with y'all because I was too good of a kid. I didn't want to constantly put myself in a dangerous situation. But the next day when you were hungover you told me about all the fun y'all had, how you don't remember most of it, and how you wish I would've been there. When we went on chapter retreat and it was the 5 of us, we were best friends, two were roommates, and the other one had the apartment everyone went to. One girl said she'll text in the group message when we were going to her apartment. I never got a text. That's when I realized y'all made a completely new group message without me in it.
Sisters aren't always forever.
I wish I could tell y'all these things to your faces, but I can't. It's not because I'm scared or anything. I just don't think you could handle it. I hope y'all have friendships that will last since ours couldn't even though it wasn't my choice. You both always had another best friend in front of me too. It's funny how I thought I could choose the right friends because now that I look back on it, I couldn't have been more wrong. So I guess thank y'all for teaching me a lesson that I wish I never had to learn.
