For a while now, you've been a part of my life. You've been around for my every move, like a shadow. You've been the sinking feeling in my gut, the tears coming down for no clear reason, and the voice in my mind telling me "you can't do this anymore". After all this time, you still get me just like the first time, you still stop me in my tracks, convince me that I'll never be enough, and you try your best to break me... but I'm here to tell you that you won't break me.
I used to think you were going to take over. I used to think I wouldn't ever be able to function day to day. I used to wonder if you would ever let me be happy again, if the tears would ever stop, and whether or not my life would ever be the same. I used to think that my friends would walk out on me if I ever let them in to know how I felt. I used to think you would win, that you would take over for good, but not anymore.
You may follow me around in my day to day life, but you don't control where my life takes me.
You may tell me I can't do it anymore, but you're one voice in comparison to three telling me that I can. You might stop me in my tracks, but you don't knock me on the ground. You might try to break me, but you don't - because I know that I can't let you win.
I can't let you take all of the great things I have in life away from me. I can't let you control my relationships. I can't let you knock me down because I've worked way too hard to build myself up. You will not win. You may tell me that I am alone, but I know that I'm not.
You may tell me that I'll never be enough, but I know I will be someday.
I may not be at my strongest, wisest, most stable, or even happiest time of my young life - but because of you, I have had to be strong, I have had to grow up, and now - I know that I can fight you. I may have days that I stay in bed, or that I find myself crying over the least little things. I may overreact to seemingly small things in life, and I may struggle with you on days that I can't seem to fight back... but that will not be forever.
So, my friend, I want you to know that I am stronger than you think I am - and I'm getting stronger everyday. Don't get comfortable, because I will win, and you, anxiety, will fail.
Thank you, anxiety, for you have made me realize my own strength.
