As I have found a new level of confidence in who I am, I have outgrown my old self. I have outgrown my old insecurities, my constant worrying, and most of all my toxic old so-called friends.
This process has been a long and difficult road. I used to care about every little thing someone thought about me. I used to let people talk down to me, despite the fact they had little to no more knowledge than me.
I will no longer be background noise. I will always try to be positive, and I will never hold back my excitement much less my talent ever again.
For months I was afraid to sing in front of people, especially my friends. Not to put all the blame on a specific group of people, but there were instances where I felt I was not good enough. This was no matter what song I intended to sing, and regardless of how well I did.
No matter how much growth I let myself have, I was teared down for trying. When I went back to where I was comfortable I was belittled. Despite my efforts of branching out and growing, nothing was enough if it was not the way I "should" grow in your mind.
Now that you are out of my life, everything has been peaceful. Remember those panic attacks you said were directly caused by my actions? I still have them. These attacks, however, happen way less often and are less intensified.
Could this be due to my self-growth, or could it be because you are not here putting extra stress upon my already stressful situations, saying that I could have it worse and that I should just "chill" and be grateful. Who knows, I guess. Maybe my self-growth officially started when I made sure you were out of my life.
Now that I have begun focusing on, not only myself, but also people who have become a constant support system in my life. This is because in order to grow and change, a source of support is necessary.
There are still days where I need to be alone, and there are still days where being around people is almost necessary.
I have outgrown the old me, and I can't waiting to continue growing around my new supportive friends.
