If you’re like me, you’ve probably wondered why it’s so difficult to fit in with extroverts and introverts. “But there are only two! I must fit in with one! Right?" Nope.

Many people use the word ‘ambivert’ to describe people who don’t fit into either category. This word implies that you’re a mix of both, but that’s just not true for some of us. Now the term “outgoing introvert” has been used to describe people who are introverted, but have aspects of extroverts. The need for this phrase comes from our narrow view of introverts as overly shy and unapproachable people, which is so rarely the case. So we, the modern society, have created a term to describe the group of introverts who don’t sit alone and read books all day.

If you’re an outgoing introvert, you inevitably have a hard time making friends. You make acquaintances easier than anyone you know. These are surface-level friendships and you’ve got more of them than you can count. But real friends are much harder.

Your acquaintances wonder why you don’t hang out with them and why you always say that you don’t have any friends. You say you were just kidding, but really it’s because you’re selectively social. It’s hard to hang out with someone if there’s not going to be a level of substance to hanging out. Dinner, coffee, and late-night talks are things that you like, because they involve genuinely interacting and connecting with another individual.

Outgoing introverts hate small talk. It endlessly annoys them. When they meet someone who avoids small talk, they’re instantly attached to that person. It’s all downhill from that initial attachment. Nervousness and shyness take over on the introverted side, but usually when outgoing introverts meet a friend like this, they are a friend forever. Often times, outgoing introverts can feel if there is potential for connection without even exchanging words with them. The fusion of both extroverted and introverted qualities usually leads to a hyper-observant person.

Outgoing introverts often feel lonely. This feeling is relaxing and harrowing all at once. Just as the name is in conflict, so are most of their emotions! Being alone can recharge us, just like it does with introverts. However, being alone for too long can make us feel like we’re lacking connection.

Outgoing introverts will always have a more difficult time with making connections than others. However, they will often be hailed as the life of the party and as the “popular” kids in school. This is because they are often aloof and searching for the deeper level of things.

If you feel like you don’t fit into to either category, don’t fret, because you may be an outgoing introvert. This is especially true for modern day creative types who enjoy time with others and the pursuit of a deeper level of fulfillment to their lives found through years of introspection. Sometimes they may be behind the scenes social activists or educators, because they wish to change the system that outcast them throughout their lives.

Whether you are introverted, extroverted, ambiverted, or an outgoing introvert, be sure to embrace your qualities and know that they give you strengths others may not possess.