35 Stages Of Watching 'OITNB' Season 5

35 Stages Of Watching 'OITNB' Season 5

*cancels all plans for foreseeable future*

Warning: spoilers ahead

If you're anything like me, you canceled absolutely all of your plans as soon as the new season of "Orange Is The New Black" was released on to Netflix a few days ago. When we left off, our beloved Poussey had been killed. Besides having our hearts absolutely ripped out of our chests, the season offered us more shocking twists. Lolly went down for the death of Alex's hitman and was taken away to the psych unit. Piper's ongoing battle with Maria and her squad was put to rest after Piper was branded with a swastika. Sophia was stuck in SHU where she set her cell on fire and attempted suicide. We ended the season with Daya pointing a gun at Humphrey in the midst of all the chaos from the riots. The fifth season brought more shocking moments than the last. The suspense of each episode made it easy to binge watch another season of the Litchfield crew.

1. It's the night of June 8th and the suspense is killing you.

2. You realize that Season 4 actually happened and Poussey isn't coming back.

3. Daya shoots Humphrey and you seriously just aren't okay.

4. Contemplating throwing up when Gina puts the period blood on her face.

5. Red says the best quote from the season, "Russians have no proverbs. We have vodka and misery."

6. Wondering who took the gun from Gloria

7. When "Litchfield Got Talent" turns into Magic Mike XXL real quick.

8. "Taking selfies, or as they're called in prison cell-fies."

9. Taystee's beautiful and moving speech about how the prisoners are mistreated.

10. Judy gets let go, but you realize you don't care because she really wasn't that relevant.

11. Seeing Pennsatucky with Coates even though he raped her.

12. Watching Angie and Leanne make the absolute worst decisions.

13. Wondering why Alex and Piper are so boring this season.

14. But it's okay because at least they're not getting into any trouble.

15. Lorna you are not pregnant. That doesn't make sense. Sit down.

16. Seeing the new library dedicated to Poussey.

17. Panicking about all of the trouble the inmates are going to get in to after all of this.

18. I think I'm going to punch a wall. Why would Judy admit on TV that a guard was shot?

19. Thinking about Daya going down for shooting a guard and having her baby raised by Mrs. Powell.

20. When Piscatella starts kidnapping inmates.

21. Red gets that map to find her friends and you're all kinds of ticked off.

22. Gloria, how are you going to free all of the hostages? You know that's impossible, right?

23. When Lorna says, “You wanna know what I think, Suzanne? I think ‘crazy’ is just a word people invented to keep the extra-interesting people down" and your heart melts.

24. Thinking about Piscatella getting his own flashbacks, knowing how much I hate him. I don't care about his past. He still sucks.

25. Gloria on the ground watching the guards escape is seriously the saddest thing. Will she ever get to see her son?

26. Thinking about how much trouble Red won't be getting into because she chose to let Piscatella go (although he did deserve much worse.)

27. Freaking out because Poussey's death was already too much and now Suzanne isn't waking up.

28. Watching that flashback of Larry and remembering how much you actually hate him.

29. What? Piper and Alex are engaged?

30. Where are those buses taking them? Don't split my girls up!

31. Why isn't anyone with Lorna? She's prego and all alone on the bus.

32. Piscatella gets shot in the head and none of the inmates have to go down for it.

33) Watching my favorite BFFS, Flaca and Maritza get separated.

34. Getting emotional when they're all holding hands before they get captured.

35. Wondering how you're going to wait for season 6.

Cover Image Credit: denofgeek

Popular Right Now

The End Of The Semester As Told By Todd Chrisley

Because we're all a little dramatic like Todd sometimes.

The last 3-4 weeks of every college student’s semester are always crazy hectic. We have last minute assignments, group projects, and exams all squeezed into the last few weeks before break.

Sometimes we all need a little humor, and sometimes we are all a little dramatic, so why not experience the last few weeks of the semester as told by the king of drama himself, Todd Chrisley of Chrisley Knows Best.

1. Sitting in class listening to your professor explain upcoming assignments/exams.

2. When your group project members refuse to do anything until the night before it's due or just show up the day of to present.

3. When you and your roommate try to cook with whatever few ingredients you have left in stock.

Because we definitely want to avoid going to the grocery store at the end of the semester if we can.

4. When your parents get tired of you calling them about every little inconvenience in your life.

5. Sitting down to work on assignments.

6. Your thoughts when the professor is telling you what they want from you out of an assignment.

7. When you've had about 30 mental breakdowns in 2 days.

8. Trying to search out the class for the right group members.

9. The last few days of classes where everyone and everything is getting on your nerves.

10. When your friend suggests going out but you're just done with the world.

11. This. On the daily.

12. When all you want to do is snuggle up and watch Christmas movies.

13. Studying and realizing you know nothing.

14. When your finals are over and it's finally time to go home for break.

You're finally back to your old self.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Reasons I'm Chandler And Phoebe's Love Child

I'm the walking depiction of the combination of two of your favorite "friends."



1. I'm always talking.

The GIF basically does the explaining for me..


2. People who can't be independent annoy me.

This GIF basically covers this one too..


3. I have impeccable dance moves...  

....or rather the lack thereof


4. Slight temper may be an understatement.

I could make a sailor blush if I wanted to. Thanks for the extensive vocabulary, mom!


5. I tend to make jokes during serious moments..

...or really any time


6. Ever so slightly perverted

I could make basically anything perverted with a look, sound, or phrase to add onto it. It's a gift.



Doesn't matter the time, occasion, or mood. I can always find a reason to yell this. And yes, sometimes I do say it like Chandler.


8. What I mean 90% of the time when friends invite me to something.

​Sorry girls😂😅


9. Low-key (but no so low-key) clumsy.

Okay, high-key. The other day I face planted because I tripped over nothing. On the bright side, if I wanted a part in a horror movie, I've already got that part down!


10. And then there's the obvious reason

I may be weird and a lot to handle, but all in all, I'm pretty awesome.



Related Content

Facebook Comments