35 Stages Of Watching 'OITNB' Season 5

35 Stages Of Watching 'OITNB' Season 5

*cancels all plans for foreseeable future*

Warning: spoilers ahead

If you're anything like me, you canceled absolutely all of your plans as soon as the new season of "Orange Is The New Black" was released on to Netflix a few days ago. When we left off, our beloved Poussey had been killed. Besides having our hearts absolutely ripped out of our chests, the season offered us more shocking twists. Lolly went down for the death of Alex's hitman and was taken away to the psych unit. Piper's ongoing battle with Maria and her squad was put to rest after Piper was branded with a swastika. Sophia was stuck in SHU where she set her cell on fire and attempted suicide. We ended the season with Daya pointing a gun at Humphrey in the midst of all the chaos from the riots. The fifth season brought more shocking moments than the last. The suspense of each episode made it easy to binge watch another season of the Litchfield crew.

1. It's the night of June 8th and the suspense is killing you.

2. You realize that Season 4 actually happened and Poussey isn't coming back.

3. Daya shoots Humphrey and you seriously just aren't okay.

4. Contemplating throwing up when Gina puts the period blood on her face.

5. Red says the best quote from the season, "Russians have no proverbs. We have vodka and misery."

6. Wondering who took the gun from Gloria

7. When "Litchfield Got Talent" turns into Magic Mike XXL real quick.

8. "Taking selfies, or as they're called in prison cell-fies."

9. Taystee's beautiful and moving speech about how the prisoners are mistreated.

10. Judy gets let go, but you realize you don't care because she really wasn't that relevant.

11. Seeing Pennsatucky with Coates even though he raped her.

12. Watching Angie and Leanne make the absolute worst decisions.

13. Wondering why Alex and Piper are so boring this season.

14. But it's okay because at least they're not getting into any trouble.

15. Lorna you are not pregnant. That doesn't make sense. Sit down.

16. Seeing the new library dedicated to Poussey.

17. Panicking about all of the trouble the inmates are going to get in to after all of this.

18. I think I'm going to punch a wall. Why would Judy admit on TV that a guard was shot?

19. Thinking about Daya going down for shooting a guard and having her baby raised by Mrs. Powell.

20. When Piscatella starts kidnapping inmates.

21. Red gets that map to find her friends and you're all kinds of ticked off.

22. Gloria, how are you going to free all of the hostages? You know that's impossible, right?

23. When Lorna says, “You wanna know what I think, Suzanne? I think ‘crazy’ is just a word people invented to keep the extra-interesting people down" and your heart melts.

24. Thinking about Piscatella getting his own flashbacks, knowing how much I hate him. I don't care about his past. He still sucks.

25. Gloria on the ground watching the guards escape is seriously the saddest thing. Will she ever get to see her son?

26. Thinking about how much trouble Red won't be getting into because she chose to let Piscatella go (although he did deserve much worse.)

27. Freaking out because Poussey's death was already too much and now Suzanne isn't waking up.

28. Watching that flashback of Larry and remembering how much you actually hate him.

29. What? Piper and Alex are engaged?

30. Where are those buses taking them? Don't split my girls up!

31. Why isn't anyone with Lorna? She's prego and all alone on the bus.

32. Piscatella gets shot in the head and none of the inmates have to go down for it.

33) Watching my favorite BFFS, Flaca and Maritza get separated.

34. Getting emotional when they're all holding hands before they get captured.

35. Wondering how you're going to wait for season 6.

Cover Image Credit: denofgeek

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:

“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:


When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:

"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Must-See Movies For Your Summer

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I can't wait till these movies come out. Going to the movies during summer is a great escape from the heat, giving you a few hours in the air conditioning while enjoying a big tub of popcorn.

Here are a few movies to check out this summer when you want to cool down for a little while:

1. "The Lion King"

2. "Aladdin"

3. "The Hustle"

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