Here is a stream of conscious I wrote after reading a chapter in the book The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan. I want to share this because in a world where we can feel incredibly alone, it’s essential to remember that we are never.
I am okay being alone. I enjoy the silence and tranquility even though there are times when I crave human interaction. But, what do I really want out of this life? I've been thinking about this a lot recently and I think I have an answer.
I want to know who I am. I know what I am in society's eyes. I am a woman, I am nineteen years old, I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a college student, I am short, I am blonde, and on and on and on. But who am I really? Without society's eyeglass how do I know who I am? I am who I am because of how my parents raised me. I like sports because I have been playing since I was a kid. I like meat because it's what my family eats every night. I like doing well and trying hard in school because it is what my parents taught me to do. I am respectful and kind to those around me because that is what my parents told me is right. Without all of this, without everyone constantly telling us who to be, who would we be? Should I define myself by what I have been told growing up? To what extent am I able to say "this is right" or "this is wrong" and form my own opinion? What would we be if this happened? How different would the world be?
I want to find a purpose in my life. I want to accomplish things. I want to be motivated and dedicated and passionate about everything I do. I can only hope that when I look back on my life I can look happily and proudly, knowing that I rode the life-ride and hopped off that roller coaster with a smug look on my face, knowing I took the turns and drops as graciously as my life called for.
What struck this question? The Opposite of Loneliness, a book by Marina Keegan. It's an amazing question really, what is the opposite of loneliness? Togetherness? That doesn't work, because you can be together, with people, and still feel incredibly alone. The Opposite of Loneliness, just as Marina says, is simply a feeling, an indescribable feeling. Being able to feel the opposite of loneliness is a feeling that humans strive for, whether consciously or unconsciously, everyone wants to feel it; because once you feel it, you can't get enough. To have people want to be with you, want to talk to you, want to take part in your ridiculous life, is awesome. I hope to one day soon find that passion, that drive, that makes me want to achieve whatever my heart desires, and whether it be lonely or the opposite of loneliness is written in my stars.
I don't have answers for any of these questions, but they are constantly on my mind. This novel allowed me to explore in more depth how society looks at human interaction and how humans work. I highly recommend The Opposite of Loneliness to anyone who feels alone.
