Opinions Are Like Assholes - Everyone Has One, Right Judgy McJudgepants?

Opinions Are Like Assholes - Everyone Has One, Right Judgy McJudgepants?

The difference between judgments and opinions depend on many factors.

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The Internet is a never-ending source of arguments. The last squabble I witnessed was about how a particular group judged others. Someone else said they weren't judging, they were expressing their opinions. I thought, isn't a judgment an opinion at its core? Where is the line between the two?

Dictionary.com defines judging as "an act or instance of judging. The ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion. The demonstration or exercise of such ability or capacity."

The site defines an opinion as "a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty. A personal view, attitude, or appraisal. The formal expression of a professional judgment."

So since the word judgment appears consistently in the definition of opinion, but opinion only appears once in the definition of judgment, I feel like its safe to assume that at its core, an opinion is a judgment. Does this mean that issuing a judgment is better than having an opinion?

One of my coworkers remarked upon dropping me off at home after work that she didn't know how I could live alone. She said she'd be too lonely away from people. I told her I was not pretty, so I wasn't lucky enough to have suitors in my face all the time. She countered back that I was indeed pretty. I told her that that was only her opinion, and it didn't match what a great many other people have told me. So, does she have an opinion while I have a judgment on the situation, or vice versa? Or, can things change if all information is known by participating parties?

I'm not sure how much she knows about extroversion or introversion, but would her opinion change if she knew I was severely introverted? Would her opinion of my situation change if she knew the hardships I've endured in the past living with family, dorm mates, friends, and ex-coworkers? Or would she still hold to the opinion that living alone is lonely; no matter how unpleasant the living situation is? Is living in sadness really better than living alone?

There are unfortunately many situations where people choose to live unhappily than live alone. A big reason some do that is that they don't have the money and resources to escape. However, no matter why they stay, people talk about their reasons for staying. In the past its been easy to say that these people are passing judgment when they talk about it but in actuality their just expressing negative opinions. If they knew all the facts, then their conversations would be full of judgments instead of opinions.

Though socially its frowned upon to be judgmental, people value judgment over opinion any day. Our freedom after committing a societal wrong is decided by a judge. They are given all the circumstances before making a judgment. In science, hypotheses are opinions that are yet to be proven then upgraded to theories where they are then taken seriously as possible facts. And if you are Christian, the highest judge of one's moral actions on earth is God, who doesn't make a judgment based on opinion, but rather on seeing everything you do.

Now, though we prioritize judging than opinion, does this mean that judgments are right? Many people will say someone is a thief if they steal. Upon learning that they stole something to help a family member, the initial opinion is now a judgment that the theft took place to benefit someone else and shouldn't be seen so harshly. Yes, an item was stolen. Wrong was still committed. Just because it was justified doesn't make the offense void. Judging can be just as detrimental as bad opinions.

How can we escape a society that upholds judgments as facts and opinions as tolerable? Whose to say whose views are true or not.

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12 Things Only Low Maintenance Girls Understand

I promise we aren’t lazy, just easy going.
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Sometimes low maintenance girls are looked at as lazy or sloppy. But in reality, I think low maintenance girls are just so confident in who they are that putting in that extra effort isn't important to them.

Here are 12 things that only low maintenance girls understand:

1. Leggings or sweat pants and a t-shirt is your normal everyday outfit

Why spend the day uncomfortable in some tight jeans or mini skirt when you can lounge around in some comfy clothes. We aren’t here to impress anyone, we are just trying to sit back and chill.

2. Makeup is a special occasion

If you catch a low maintenance girl with makeup on, take it as a compliment. We are trying to touch our face and rub our eyes as much as we'd like without makeup getting in the way. Not to mention, we wouldn’t dare spend over $15 on some foundation.

3. We would rather stay in with a movie then go out for the evening

Something low-key and low stress always sounds better than spending the time, and the money, for a night out. I am perfectly content with taking advantage of my $7.99 monthly payment for Netflix.

4. You’re always the first one ready

While your friends spend hours doing their hair, makeup and then finding the perfect outfit, you sit around and wait. Your 10 minutes thrown-together-look gives you time to nap while everyone else takes their sweet time.

5. When you say you "don’t care what we do," you really don’t care

Seriously, a date night off the McDonald’s dollar menu is fine by me. I am not expecting you to wine and dine me on a big extravagant evening, I’m just trying to get a Big Mac in my mouth.

6. Your messy bun isn’t a fashion statement, it’s actually just your hairstyle

We aren’t about to spend time curling or straightening our hair everyday. Every day is a good day to throw your hair up into a ponytail or bun.

7. The extent of your jewelry collection is one pair of earrings and maybe a necklace

Who needs more than one pair of earrings? Diamond studs match everything…right?

8. And your shoe collection is even smaller

Should I wear flip flops or converse?

9. Shopping isn’t exactly your favorite thing to do

Who has patience for finding the perfect designer brands or finding the best fit? I am perfectly content with my t-shirts and leggings. One size fits all.

10. Your favorite gifts are the sentimental ones, not the expensive ones

A homemade card or a small gift that makes someone think of you is forever better and more meaningful than an expensive present. I don’t want your money, I just want to know you thought of me

11. You don't put in the effort to chase after a guy

I'm awesome and I know it. If a guy is worth it enough to be in my life, he can come after me. I am not down for any games or players. Just someone who embraces my low maintenance qualities.

12. You are always the first person to help someone out

Giving your friends a ride or lending them two dollars isn't a huge deal. Just helping someone out gives you peace of mind. Everyone should have time to help a homie out.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.cosboots.com/sale/christmas/christmas.html

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To Love a Broken Vase — An Ode To Valentine's Day

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." --David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

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I remember an anecdote my elementary school teacher told us in the fifth grade. When a mother is pregnant with a child, they feel comfortable in their flesh. Provided with everything they needed to survive, they don't have to worry about anything. It's not until after they are born and the umbilical chord is severed that they realized they were not good enough, and insecurities fester.

I went through a similar process when I was growing up. Contained within my family and books, I felt like I held the world in my hands. It was not until high school where I seriously sought out others for company and wanted to apply myself to the social universe. And I saw myself changing in not only my behaviors, but how I see myself within the world.

With working hard to get good grades, with trying to get my driver's license, and becoming a better person overall, I realized the process involved a lot more effort than I ever had expected. And I found myself unprepared for the slow drudgery of it all. While I once pushed through to get things done, now I find myself giving up on projects while coming up with new ones. I frequently turned to my laptop for solace, as it kept my fantasies alive, but it also stole time away from me.

These behaviors showed in my relationships: I found it hard to meet up with friends, and my parents started worrying about what would my future look like. With the latter, I've had multiple conflicts with them, with me asserting I wanted to be free from everything, including accountability. Of course, that perception was quite unrealistic — to love and be loved, as well as to succeed, there has to a tug to know when you're doing something wrong.

***

A year ago, I wrote an article about how I saw romantic love from somebody who has never been in a relationship. Many things still apply today — I'm better off working towards my educational and career goals than seeking out love, though with Valentine's Day, it still fascinates me on whether or not I could be loved from somebody else.

From what I've heard from others, they would be charmed by my intelligence and kindness, neither fulfilling the stereotype of a nerd nor the perfect angel. However, the naivete would also put someone off, and potentially puts them in danger. I also see myself as the spontaneous type, but to the point where I forget where my priorities are, again making them worse than they really are. I imagine they would be intrigued by me as a friend or a lover, but end up breaking away after a short amount of time.

I don't imagine finding myself loving other people in the short term; however, I find myself open towards others. And that what makes me more afraid about how people view me--will they not be able to see the positives in myself when the time comes? Will they be just as capable of forgiving me the same way my family does?

At the end, I should take my friend's advice for Valentine's Day — love oneself. And take actions to make sure that I can love myself deeper and further.

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