You expect high school to be like it is in the movies, but you are abhorrently mistaken, my friend.
That boy (you know exactly who I am talking about) won't magically make you happy. In fact, he will lead you on for a while and then abruptly stop talking to you. So will the boy after that, the one after that, oh, and the one after that too. See a pattern, yet? I'll be the first to say you are unbelievably naive to fall for the same act over and over again. It's an infuriating cycle, but I promise in time you will learn to love yourself.
You have to stop hating yourself. Part of this hatred stems from the boys that thought you weren't good enough or the fake friends that make you feel insecure. I don't blame you for feeling that way. You need to understand that just because your body isn't perfect, you don't have flawless hair, or because you aren't drop dead gorgeous, it doesn't make you less of a person. In the next years it will become evident to you that you are enough as you are. Please, remember that just because someone does not see you for who you are does not mean their view is accurate.
Just a fair warning, some friends are going to leave you in the dust. It's going to hurt, but it really is for the better. You will also leave some friends behind and feel guilty about it, but you were right in doing so. They weren't making you happy and life is too short to surround yourself with people who don't celebrate you as an individual.
I know you are terrified of the future because you believe you don't have any passions or talents in life. I'm telling you now to stop stressing. It's scary and nearly impossible to trust in timing, but you have to. Don't stress too much over that college application because they'll end up accepting you. You will fret over the fact that you are making the wrong decision in attending that college and I can assure you, you made the right decision. You will love the University and you will be happy with your choice of major/minor. You will also meet some pretty amazing people. They will truly love you for you, make you laugh until you cry on a daily basis, and be there to help you when things gets hard.
You will learn that mom and dad are actually pretty cool people. I know, it seems crazy to describe your sometimes overbearing parents as "cool", but you will begin to understand their motives. You may think you know what is best for you, but they know better. They tell you things out of love and they know what will help you succeed in life. You should enjoy your time with them because you will miss them a lot when you leave.
Overall, high school is going to seem like a living hell at times, but I want you to know I'm proud of you for not giving up. You won't realize it, but you will change into a much better version of yourself. Even though you don't want to, you will grow up and mature as well. High school is not going to be what you want it to be, but what you need it to be. And even though you will grow to despise it, you will be thankful for it in the future.
