An Open Letter to My Mother

An Open Letter to My Mother

"My father ensures that the foundation underneath our house never breaks, but my mother makes sure it is a home."

It's true that I've always been a daddy's girl. There was nothing I couldn't get out of him with a simple pout of my lower lip and some puppy dog eyes. When I was little, he was my hero and this was even before I could actually understand how hard he worked. At twenty-one years old, I still look up to my dad. I admire how he finds his way out of bed at four in the morning every day to work tirelessly just to make sure there is dinner on the table. I admire the efforts he makes to be there for important family events. I admire the way he shows his love more than he says it. He taught me how to work hard, how to be strong, and always be humble.

It is a different relationship between a mother and daughter. There have been plenty of fights, and not like the fights that I would have with my father because they rarely existed. With my mother, they were screaming matches and I've regrettably said "I hate you" my fair share of times.

Even through all of the arguments, even through all of my disrespectful teenage years, my mother has loved me unconditionally.

When I was younger, I didn't want my mom to have a job because I would miss her too much. While my dad was working, I spent my days with her. Every day, all day with her. And because I saw her much more than I saw my dad, she didn't really get the appreciation that she deserved. When I was little I didn't understand how hard staying home and taking care of me really was, but now I know that it was a challenge in itself.

She has forgiven all of my mistakes and never judged me for them. She stayed up with me all night when I was upset over a boy, letting my cry into her shoulder for hours on end despite the fact that she had work in the morning.

It's true that my father makes sure there is food on the table, but my mother turns it into something delicious. My father ensures that the foundation underneath our house never breaks, but my mother makes sure it is a home.

My mother gets off of work and has a whole other job to complete once she gets home. She is nurturing and caring. She makes sure that everyone had a good day, and if we didn't, she makes sure to take the weight off of our shoulders by the evening.

When I need something in my house, I cannot remember the last time I yelled for my dad. A mother is the glue that holds a family together. She is what keeps us all going and keeps us all on track, even if we don't always realize it. She knows where everything is, when some days are harder than others, or when I've been working myself too hard.

Throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school, having my mom around was just a staple. I couldn't be bothered. I would be out with my friends, come home for dinner, and leave again. When my mom would ask to spend time with me, I would brush her off.

It wasn't until I went away to college that I realized how important those moments are. I didn't realize how much I missed both of us getting sick and eating soup and watching movies together. I didn't realize how much I missed having someone to talk to about my day and being able to tell absolutely everything to. I didn't realize how much I missed her constant advice and input, even though I might've hated it at the time.

My mother raised me more than I understood at the time. I see a lot of her in myself, looks and personality. If I turn out to be as strong, intelligent, caring, loving, kind, and hard-working as my mom is, then I know I'll do okay.

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Here Are 31 Things Your Bridesmaids DON'T Want To Do

17. Be expected to make important decisions that only the bride should make

Because they love you , 9 times out of 10 they'll do anything that you ask of them. But don't expect them to be grinning from ear to ear about it.

I talked to several past, present, and future bridesmaids who informed me of the things they'd really rather NOT do.

Your bridesmaids DON'T want to:

1. Wear ugly and uncomfortable dresses

2. Spend all of their cash money on that dress they hate

3. Be in charge of doing hair

4. Be in charge of doing makeup

5. Be in charge of taking wedding pictures

6. Be forced to dance

7. Feel obligated to throw a shower especially when nobody else wants to contribute

8. Buy and wear uncomfortable shoes

9. Buy the same shoes as everyone else, especially if they cannot walk in them

10. Be expected to give an elaborate speech, especially if they're shy

11. Be forced to dance with somebody that they just don't want to dance with

12. Miss out on your dress fitting

13. Be expected to make every pre-wedding event if they truly cannot attend

14. Have to throw down more money than they have for multiple events

15. Have to pay for multiple accessories they're expected to wear

16. Learn a dance when they have two left feet and no rhythm

17. Be expected to make important decisions that only the bride should make

18. Be bossed around for the entirety of the engagement

19. Be treated like a handmaid

20. Have to babysit any children during the rehearsal/reception

21. Not getting to bring a plus one

22. Be left in the dark about what they're supposed to do for the whole engagement

23. Have no idea what to do come wedding day

24. Change anything about their appearance

25. Be expected to lose weight solely for the wedding

26. Have to buy a ridiculously expensive present

27. Have to travel long distance for multiple events before the wedding

28. Have to say yes for everything

29. Have to have the same hairstyle as everyone which may not look good

30. Feel or look bad for being broke

31. Be expected to know what you're thinking 24/7

Bottom line is that there are definitely a few things bridesmaids would be thrilled to not have to do. But because they love you, they'll do whatever it is that you ask without hesitation.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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Being Alone But Not Lonely

"jump from one thought to another, just analyzing what my future can hold ranging from career to marriage to even what I’ll be doing when I am 70 years old. "

Have you ever wanted to be alone but not lonely?

You might have told someone that you don’t feel good but in reality you just wanted to be by yourself. Sure, you love having company but sometimes it is just relaxing to be alone. During the time you are able to think peacefully and take your time doing things.

I prefer being alone but not lonely, if that makes sense. Sure, I love hanging out with my loved ones and being around them during good and bad times but, there comes a time when it just becomes too much. That is when I decide I need to take a breather and step away from them to collect my thoughts. They are, in no way, being annoying or troublesome but my interaction quota has been met for the time being.

Whenever I am by myself, I am never bored. For instance, I like shopping alone even though my sister likes to tag along but I concentrate better and get through it quickly. I know what I want and where to get it, so I just head for that area. Also, I love eating by myself. I used to think it was weird for people to eat alone but it is quiet enjoyable. I get to eat and enjoy my food while I sink into my thoughts and think about various things.

Having my alone time lets me think about my future. I jump from one thought to another, just analyzing what my future can hold ranging from career to marriage to even what I’ll be doing when I am 70 years old.

I am an independent person. I do not like to rely on others or owe anyone anything. I like to think for myself and not let people influence me in doing something that I am not comfortable with. Being this type of person has made me into a person who enjoys their own company way too much.

Just because I like being alone, it doesn’t mean that I am not thinking about my loved ones. If I am outside and I see something that reminds me of someone, I tend to start thinking about them. Also, I can call anyone I want to without thinking I am being rude to anyone. For example, if I am at the mall and I see a jacket or shoes that I like but need another person’s opinion, I end up calling my mom. I facetime her and ask to tell me what she thinks of a product I chose for myself or someone else. We go back and forth discussing the pros and cons until I decide to buy it or not. This is a good example of being alone but not lonely. I may be alone at the mall but I can contact my mom if I need her for some advice.

I think it is great for everyone to have their own alone time to reflect on what is happening in their life or what will happen. That alone time gives you to mentally sort through everything that is good and bad in your life and how to eliminate the bad things.

Being alone is not all that bad!

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