Dear self aware girls,
I feel your pain. Those who say ignorance is bliss might be right, because for once, it might be nice not to hold yourself accountable for something rather than constantly retracing the actions you have taken and their consequences. It must be nice to not know what you are capable of, and stressing about getting there and then going beyond. I understand that the world can be a frustrating place where you can't understand how others are the way they are. I understand that you hate uncertainty and indecisiveness, because you often know what you want. I also get how frustrating it can be when someone assumes they know what you want, when in reality they know nothing about you. But you do.
You are self aware. Confident, reassured, and unaffected. Be proud. Yes, it will hinder you in certain ways, but not because of you. Because of others who are insecure, unsure, and intimidated. Do not let them dim your light. They will exclude you, ignore you, talk about you. Jealousy would probably be awful if I ever met her, but from what I've heard, karma is too. Let her do the dirty work.
Do not waste your time worrying about the people who do not understand you or who do not know your worth. Learn to let go of those people rather than getting angry with them, often people cannot understand you because they don't understand themselves or are not ready to handle what you are bringing to the table. You are secure in knowing who you are, and may not experience the same struggles for peace with your identity that others do.
Knowing who you are is a blessing and a curse, because as much as you are aware of your redeeming qualities, you also can acknowledge your faults. However, though it is a curse it is not a weakness. Knowing this helps you continue to grow and work to get rid of them.
Everyone always says the grass in greener on the other side, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe not. To me, being aware of who you are and feeling empowered by it is extremely valuable.
You should not be afraid that you are intimidating (in the good way), you should not diminish yourself to fit another person's mold, and you should not have to back down and be a pretty little thing just so that other people aren't uncomfortable because they feel small. If they can't handle you and all your amazing qualities, then forget it. Only you get to decide who tears you down and mistreats you.
Girls can be catty, boys can be stupid. It's just the way it is. I get how hard it can be to navigate everything when you are in your late teens and early twenties. Everything and everyone is constantly changing, and even if you feel like maybe you're at a different place than everyone I promise that eventually they will come around, or you'll meet people who vibe with you better (people who want to make an effort to not only understand you but love you for all that you are, even if they can't understand it).
Everything is a process, so embrace it (even if you don't think applies to you). I know that you may want to change everyone to match your understandings and level of emotional maturity, but you also have to realize that you cannot control everything around you and that life will never be perfect. Just because you are sure of your qualities and capabilities doesn't mean that everyone else has to be. Each person has their own growth and own way of finding themselves that you in the end absolutely must respect. Often times this can hurt you, but don't let it destroy you. Many times, people still need to find themselves and discover the things that you know for themselves. This means trial and error on their part, and sadly maybe you as collateral. You cannot force anyone who is not ready, to see what you see and understand what you do. In the end it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them and where they are emotionally and mentally.
Ultimately, you should not get stuck in your own head space. As much as I encourage self-empowerment and acknowledging yourself as a priority, this does not mean that you should disregard everyone else. YES, it's okay to tune out others who shed negativity on your life, but also remember that you do need other people and that it's okay to let them in even if they are not perfect 100% of the time (because no one is! Not even you! Or me!). It is not important that they get you, just that they're trying to and making active efforts to. Be mindful of the others in your life even if they may not understand your stance versus their's. Communicate, a little talk goes a long way. But also comprehend, you need to understand them too. It's cool to be a kind person and it's even better to be empathetic. You never know what a person is going through, so being the bigger person and best version of yourself for them is all you can do. Who knows, you might even get surprised and find yourself helping others navigate their insecurities or vice versa. This being said, being self aware doesn't always mean you are a finished piece or don't have issues of your own as a person. It could just mean that you merely are aware of your faults or weaknesses, and are working on them to know yourself even better than you already do.
At the end of the day, you are who you are and everyone else is who they are. Be compassionate, be open, and be YOU!
