To be perfectly honest, I never had an easy time making friends or just talking to people in general. Between my ongoing anxiety and the fact that I try to please others instead of caring about myself, I feel as though sometimes I don't know how to interact with new people and even my friends that I had for years.
However, it is not always my fault. Some people are just plain rude and stupid. Here is what I have to say to some of those people.
1. To the girl who thinks I did her wrong.
You say that I owe you an apology for talking about you behind your back, when I wasn't and I apologized for the same stuff months ago when I didn't say anything. You say, "Friends don't talk badly about friends," when we aren't even close to being friends because you're the one being distant.
You feel threatened by me because you think I'm going to "steal" your boyfriend. In reality, you got him by the balls and he wouldn't ever leave you even if I tried to, but I wouldn't. You don't let him have any contact with me, and I lost my friend because of you. I told him that I liked him because it would eat me alive if I didn't. I didn't do it to take him.
You are the craziest girl I've ever met, and I do not need you in my life. I never want to be friends with someone as toxic as you.
2. To the teacher who doesn’t have trust in me.
Honestly, you are one of my favorite teachers and I've learned a lot from you. You always just tell me to "stop being nervous" when I audition for you. You make me want to be nervous. You never help me figure out ways to overcome the nerves. You make them worse.
Then, you go and give me parts that I know are too easy for me. You always say, "You aren't ready for lead roles because you don't have confidence." How can I be confident when you baby me too much? How do you know I'm not ready for a lead when you don't give me the opportunity? Give me a chance and if I fall flat on my face, you can say I told you so then.
I still love you very much, but this is what frustrates me.
3. To any boy I wasted time on.
Thank you for showing me what not to look for in a future husband. You all suck, except for the two I call some of my best friends. I love you, T & W.
4. To myself.
You are beautiful. You are smart. You are strong. You are confident. You are caring. You are enough. I love you for you.
