Have you ever lost someone you were so close to while growing up? I've lost both of my grandparents to cancer. Below are the letters that I have written for them.
Grandma C,
Going to your grave kills me. It kills me inside to see that you have passed. It kills me that I never got a chance to say goodbye. It kills me that I was so young when you passed that I didn't know what dying meant. It kills me to not have been able to go to your funeral/wake. I was so little when you left me and still think about you very single day. It kills me that you never got to see my milestones of my life. It kills me that you couldn't see me graduate high school. It kills me that you won't see me graduate from college in two more years. It kills me that you won’t be able to see me get my Master's. It kills me that you won’t be able to be my best friend like you were when I was little. It kills me that you won't be able to ask, “Riss, who is this boyfriend that you have? I wanna know all about him.” It kills me that you won’t be able to see me walk down the aisle and get married to the love of my life. It kills me that you won’t see me have my own children and get to see them grow up. It kills me that you haven't seen me grow up into the women that I am today. It kills me that I couldn't say goodbye like I wanted to… I wish I was old enough to understand and comprehend what was happening to you. I wish I was able to have more time to make memories that would last a life time. … But I know you’re in a better place now watching over me. I love you very much and I miss you so much.
Love,
Your Granddaughter
Grandpa C,
Wow.. never thought you would actually leave me… I’m not going to get used to not having you around…
It all has happened so fast. One day you were perfectly fine and the next you were in the ICU with cancer again. When I found out that you were in the hospital with cancer, I thought, “ He had it once and beat it, he could do it again.” As time went on, I saw how bad you were suffering. I didn’t like seeing you struggle. I know you let go because you didn’t want to suffer anymore. But, I’m never going to get used to not seeing you on Christmas and my birthday and other holidays. I’m trying to make you proud… you told me I would become an amazing teacher. I’m doing it for you, I want to make you proud. You always told me I could do anything I put my mind to. I’m doing it, I'm making something of myself. And I’m really thankful for you pushing to do what I want to do. But I just can't get used to the fact that you’re gone…you are never coming back. I wish I had more time with you to tell you how much I love you. I never got the chance to say good bye when I knew I should've been there… all that matters is that you aren't suffering anymore… I love you so much and you will always be watching over me.
Love,
Your Granddaughter
