Toxic friendships. Everyone has heard of them, but we refuse to believe that we have any in our own lives. It has only been recent that I realized that I was one of those people who was blind to toxic friendships right in front of my face. I suggest that when you get the chance, you sit down and evaluate what you consider to be a toxic friendship. Everyone can define the term in their own way, but I picked out a few defining qualities for myself. I realized that anyone given the title of “friend” should be someone that brings me up rather than tears me down.
My friends should be my own personal fan club, and I should reciprocate. A friend should never make me feel lesser or subordinate, but instead, should make me feel like the best version of myself. Another ideal I hold myself to is to always be positive and see the bright side of life because like a disease, attitudes are contagious. When I find myself asking a friend how their day is, their response shouldn’t always be, “It kind of sucks. What about you?” Of course, everyone is allowed to have their bad days, but a consistent negativity is not something that I want to surround myself with.
As someone who tries to radiate sunshine, I need to keep rain out of the forecast. A friend should never pressure me to do something I don’t want to do, and should respect my opinions and values. Our values do not need to be the same, but anyone who frowns upon mine is not someone I should be spending time with.
One of the greatest benefits of friendship is the ability to observe others values and perhaps learn a thing or two to incorporate into my own life. If a friend tries to persuade me to think or act a certain way that isn’t for the better, they shouldn’t be someone that I even give the privilege of learning about my values. A toxic friend causes more harm than good in my life. A toxic friend creates drama rather than trying to avoid it.
A friendship should not be a full-time job, but rather an enhancement to my everyday life. I should not have to put on an act with a friend because our friendship should be genuine with no ulterior motive. It’s time for me to stop wasting time on people who cause me to sacrifice who I am as a person.
When it comes to friends, I used to take whoever would come my way. I would give 110 percent to them only to be hurt in the end. I was ignorant to the way I was being treated, and I deserve better. As much as it hurts to draw away from a friend, I know that it has to be done in order for me to live my life to its fullest potential. Life is too short to surround myself with friends who have a negative attitude and try and bring me down with them.
Starting now, I am choosing to cast people in my life who deserve to be there. I’m done giving parts to everyone who auditions.
