Dear Nick,
I don't think you realize how terrified I was when I first met you on January 2nd. I remember you standing in my doorway as I let you in my house, along with two of your friends. I could recall only being able to think about how cute you were and that I would never be lucky enough to be with someone like you. I cannot pinpoint exactly what the feeling was, but I felt an overwhelming, yet intense, feeling of joy combined with nervousness flood my body as soon as our eyes met. This feeling was unfamiliar to me. I then understood that my heart was entering unknown territory. Honestly, I thought you were going to break my heart. I'm happy to be able to say that while you stole my heart, you gave me yours in exchange.
Now as we move closer to our one year anniversary on January 11th, I can wholeheartedly say that I am completely in love with you. Love is this strange, whimsical feeling that words could never describe. You could rearrange all the letters of the alphabet, making words that explain love in various ways, but none could ever fully portray what love truly feels like.
On a summer night we sat outside, caressed by the billion twinkling stars. We shared endless laughs together, but one particular statement stuck out to me. You told me that I was a lot stronger than I think myself to be. I told you that I wasn't and then you disagreed, sticking to your statement. What you said is not only something I look back on, but something that has really helped me. I never saw myself myself in a light like that. Maybe it's time that I start. So, I want to say thank you, thank you for everything, but mostly for just believing in me when I couldn't stand myself. Thank you for listening to me talk about how much I hated my previous semester of college,or when you listened to how homesick I was getting. I just want to thank you for constantly being there for me when I needed you.
This past year has been crazy, but it was a good kind of crazy all thanks to you. I never realized, nor really thought about how much being in love could teach a person until I fell for you. By loving you I have learned that perfection does not mean something that is required easily, but it means putting your all into something, creating something unbreakable. I know we have had arguments in the past and we both know how to annoy one another, but I still consider our relationship to be perfection because we try. We're a team. From loving you I have learned that vulnerability is not always a bad thing. When you love somebody every emotion in your body is at risk, your life is about to change and become new again. This could let fear set in, but when you put your all in something there's not much room left for error. Vulnerability is opening yourself up. In this case it was so we both could become one with each other, which is incredibly beautiful. I have learned to always try to be a better me and to never be afraid of change, especially not commitment.
As we are finally in the new year I cannot wait to make more memories with you. I have never been good at thinking of resolutions, but this year I have a few planned out. I want to always be able to show you how much I love and appreciate you. I also want to work on being a better me. I always struggled with self-confidence issues. I do not rely on you for confidence, but from how much you believe in me as a person and how much you love me, maybe I should try to see in myself what you see. I'm excited to spend another year with you, as well as many more. Thank you for everything you do for me cutie.
I once read somewhere that to love and be loved is the most amazing feeling. I couldn't afree more.
I love you forever and always,
Carly
