Dear Guy Who Used To Be My World,

I hope that you're well. For all of the love that I had for you, no matter what you did to me, I would never wish anything negative on you. I'm feeling the after-effects of you damaging me now, even though I'm completely over you. I'm scared to love anybody the way that I loved you because of the way things went down with us.

I never asked you to love me. I could never blame someone for not feeling the same way that I do. We do not choose who we love. If we could choose who we love, I promise that never in my right mind would I have chosen to love you. You shouldn't have taken advantage of the fact that I loved you, though. I never asked you to love me back, but there was no reason for you to take the love that you didn't need.

I was young and blind. You were the first guy who I had ever felt so intensely about and I was excited because it's not very often when I find myself with such deep feeling for someone. Some days, I swore that I had found the one. When I love someone, I will go to the moon and back for them because their happiness is extremely precious to me. I would also go through hell and back with them. You knew that. You never appreciated me. You used the fact that I loved you more than I loved myself to take the love and attention that you wanted from me, but that you would never return. My friends saw how you mistreated me and, in the few lucid times that I had after being blinded by love, I realized too. So, I tried to run away from it, but you'd always pull me back. Whenever you saw me giving another guy my attention and finally moving past you, you'd pull me back. You didn't want to love me, but you couldn't handle me loving someone else. How could you be so selfish to someone who was completely selfless to you? You knew that I was vulnerable. You knew that I had a weak spot for you. I saw a hero in you when nobody did. I defended you to everyone because I saw something that they didn't see. You used it all to your advantage and it destroyed me. All of the games that you played emotionally drained me and I never want to find myself in that position with you or anyone else. I lost a piece of myself loving you.

I never thought that I'd love again after you. I could never imagine myself overcoming this. I overcame it, though. However, I still feel some of the after-effects. I'm falling in love again, but I'm scared. I'm falling in love with a guy who will actually meet me halfway. Why is it that I find it hard to completely let him in? I want to be able to give him my all the way that I did for you and more because he is deserving. It's just that the last time I did that, I completely lost myself. I pray that, as time goes by, I can learn to trust again. I also pray that you learn from your mistakes. I have forgiven you, but you took a good, faithful girl like me and wrecked her. I hope that no other girls in your future have to experience what I went through. Maybe all that it takes is for you to meet the one who you love. Hopefully, when you meet her, you can treat her better than you ever treated me. If you don't change your ways, you'll one day lose the one who you do care about.