I know what you're feeling. I know exactly what it feels like. I know exactly how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest and have someone basically stomp on it right in front of your face. I know how it feels. It's this horrible, gut wrenching feeling that you cannot even explain to others unless they have been in your shoes and can just know by looking at you how you feel. I've been there. I've been in that empty dark room feeling helpless. I've been there where my phone is ringing off the hook, but all you want to do is turn it off and listen to sad music. I've been there. I know how it feels to feel like you're just not worth it anymore. I know what it's like to feel shattered. I know this feeling feels like it's going to last forever and that it is literally never going to go away, but all you wish is that it would. You've prayed a million times for it to and for you to just be the same person you once were and for things to be the way they were before, but things just aren't looking up for some reason and you can't figure out why. Being a Christian does not change what you deal with, but it changes how you deal with it. Stay strong, you ARE going to be okay.I know you don't know what to do anymore so you just stay in your room, in your bed, on your phone, listening to sad songs, looking at old photographs. I know exactly how you feel. If you haven't been there before, consider yourself lucky. It is the most difficult place to ever be in. You only have yourself to pick your own self up and get out of this.
Sweet girl, know that this doesn't last forever. Know that these feelings that you feel are normal and it is okay to feel the way that you do. Know that these feelings do go away. Cherish and love those around you. Get up and go out. Explore the world. Don't be afraid to try new things. Be yourself. Work on yourself. Find the girl that you were before someone or something broke you. It's okay that you let this get you down because we all get down sometimes, but get back up and realize how beautiful and special you are. You have such a pure and gorgeous soul. If anyone can learn how God's strength is, it will be through you. Show them. Prove them all wrong. I know right now, right in this moment, things don't make sense, but one day they will.
"She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her." Proverbs 3:15
That isn't in Scripture for no reason. READ THAT! Keep reading that until you believe it. If Jesus thinks that, there is no reason you shouldn't and definitely everyone else should see that, too. The Lord has a plan for you and I. You're sadly going to face a lot of disappointment in your life, but we disappoint him every single day.
It's also okay to have days to yourself. Take time to yourself. Take that time to turn your phone off. Listen to the sad song. Don't talk to anyone for a day. Know how you deal with things, is how you deal with things; not everyone is going to cope in the same ways and that is perfectly fine. Your imperfections and your individuality is what makes you, you. And you are pretty freakin' amazing and perfect. You have the most beautiful soul. Don't allow anyone to take that from you.
Most importantly, I want you to love yourself. Love who you are. Just because someone doesn't right now, doesn't mean they won't later, or somebody better isn't out there to love you even harder than before. One of my favorite sayings is if you ever want to really hear God laugh, tell Him your plans. You and I both know we planned out a lot of things that just didn't happen. Well, guess what? He has something better planned. Just wait. Be patient. Things will happen when they are supposed to happen, how they are supposed to happen, exactly how He wants it to happen.
