Dear ex-best friend,
Remember when we would stay awake all night long and talk until the sun came up? Remember how we used to come up with code names for everything and everyone so that no one knew what we were talking about except us? Remember when we thought nothing could separate us, and that we would be best friends forever? Because I do.
When two people are inseparable for nearly their entire lives, did you ever wonder how a bond like that could be broken? I would just like to say that it was never my intention to aid in the destruction of such a precious bond of friendship. The truth is, we were best friends, and nothing will ever change what was.
We confided in one another, and in the eyes of our peers, we were the epitome of best friends. How could something so right go so wrong? We had plans to travel together, especially to Paris. We had late-night talks about our crushes and made up handshakes that we thought were "so cool."
We survived thunder storms and tornadoes together, and ate ice cream when the power was out. We would wake up early so we could be the first ones at the county pool, and we would stay in the water all day. We were the kind of best friends that everyone wished they had, in the best way possible. When did that end?
During the school year, we spent every weekend together. In the summer, we would go from your house to mine, and from my aunt's house to your grandma's. My family was your family, and your's, mine. They were no longer sleep overs, but trips, vacations in our eyes.
Do you remember how we would take countless selfies, especially in Walmart? We used to call dibs on the members of One Direction, back when we thought "dibs" were calls for marriage.
When we would show up at school with a huge duffel bag full of sleep over essentials, no one even thought to question whose house we were going to. Everyone knew we were best friends. Remember when our Friday nights consisted of Papa John's pizza and Sprite? We had a routine friendship, one that we never got bored with.
You were the one person I thought I could go to for anything. If I needed to talk to someone who I knew would listen, no matter what the circumstance, it was you. But then, the unthinkable happened. In a single moment in time, the undeniably strong bond between us was shattered by an insurmountable truth so rotten, yet so pure. You betrayed me.
I could have never imagined that losing my best friend was an option, even in a world where options are like the stars. Too many to count, but you know they are all there. Losing you never came to mind. We were two peas in a pod. You were the peanut butter to my jelly. I was the sister you never had, and you were like my twin who was separated from me at birth.
Was I just blind-sighted and oblivious to believe that our friendship was bullet proof? Or was I just dumb enough to believe in a love that was so innocent and unnoticed. The true love of friendship.
However, betrayal is not a one-way street. I betrayed you in the same way, if only by our immature and selfish matters of dealing with petty problems. We were only children, trying to believe in the goodness of the world around us. And honestly, looking back on the fight we had, now I would not even consider it a discussion. To let one argument dictate the rest of our lives was the dumbest thing either of us could have ever done.
Within one fight, which just so happened to be the first and last of what seemed like our lifetime of friendship, I lost someone who meant the world to me. I lost you. Nothing had ever heart my heart more. I cried myself to sleep fro days, weeks even. Nothing can compare to loss of a true friend, and nothing can prepare you for how to deal with the aftermath.
I want to make a public apology for everything that happened between us, because to me it is that important to mend any bond that could be left. I am so sorry for the way that our friendship came to an end.
Not only did we stop being best friends, we stopped speaking to each other. We stopped having classes together. We even stopped looking at each other in the hallway. (I wonder if your heart hurt the way mine did when we would not even glance at one another.) And slowly, the memories of our inseparable sisterhood began to flee.
If only after that one fight, we had just hugged and said sorry and went on with our day. Could that have saved our friendship? Or was our bond doomed from the start? If the latter, then all of the amazing times we shared would have been for nothing, and I would rather not believe that to be true.
The memories we have are too great to leave behind in the dust. You and I were too good of friends for our lives to be absent in each other's minds. I would like to think that you and I are still who we used to be, somewhere deep on the inside. I would like to believe in the power of unbreakable friendship.
It never occurred to us that we would grow up, or more importantly, that we would grow apart. We were just...happy.
And after everything, you still hold a place in my heart. Such a big void is not so easily filled. I hope you know that I miss you and I will always love you. Not a day goes by that I don't think about all the secrets we shared and how we planned to grow old in a nursing home together.
Just so you know, we can still be friends. I'm down if you are. After all, pinky promises are forever, right?
Sincerely and with love,
Your ex-best friend
