Dear Bully,
I would like to thank you.
I want you to know that I struggled, for a long time, with the pain that you caused me.
Because of you, I could not look at myself in the mirror. I had no confidence. I identified myself by the cruel words (or as you called them jokes) that you condemned me with every single day. You had me believe that my life was no more than a waste of time to those around me. But, I thank you.
Because of you, I was socially impaired. I believed that there was nothing I could say that would make a difference. Any words that came out of my mouth were worthless and subject to your mocking. How could I have anything to say? Your self created lie of hierarchy in popularity allowed me to believe that I was a peasant, unworthy of communication with even the "lowest" of those around me. But, I thank you.
Because of you, I was alone. I let you control my life, and therefore found that I was not worth the time of day for anyone. You made me question whether or not even my God was real. If my God was truly always with me, surely he would send you straight to hell for the pain you were causing me. I now know that's not exactly how that works. I often found myself sitting in the back of the class or alone at the lunch table with only myself and my books. But, I thank you.
Because of you, I question everything. Any kind word, any compliment, any advice that someone gives me I am obliged to consider whether or not they truly mean it or are only mocking me. You lied to me so many times that my trust in those around me, for the longest time, was non-existent. But, I thank you
Because of you, I did not want my life to continue. You probably didn't realize it, how could you? But the words that you implanted in my mind and berated me with each day tore me down farther than anyone should ever have to endure. Who on earth would want to continue in a life of worthlessness? They said that things would get better as I got older, but how much older? How much longer would I have to endure hell just for the possibility that things might, one day, be better? You instilled in me the idea that in only seconds, I could be free of your torment. But still, I thank you.
Because of you, I have the strength today to forgive you. In putting me at the most vulnerable state of loneliness, you showed me that I am never truly alone. My God is always with me. Even in your efforts to make me feel like nothing, He showed me that I am something.
Even as the bullying began to end, the emotional and mental struggle did not. You took away an entire part of my life that I will never get back. You hurt my friendships and my relationships. You made me question my existence. Yet in result, you made me a better man today because of it. In your efforts to make me nothing, you helped create the man that I am today. So, I must thank you. You may have hurt me and you may have broke me, but you created a monster of servanthood. You helped stir in me a passion to help others who feel there is no hope, and for that I can be nothing but grateful.
In the end, bully, you lost. In your efforts to do harm, you inevitably did more good than bad. I can only hope that one day I can repay the hatred that you showed me with the kindness that I have learned.
Sincerely,
The better man
