To the guy who crushed my heart,
You believe you have broken me. You take what you've done to me in stride and carry it with you. There's no telling whether you regret what you've done or not, which I dwell on sometimes. I used to want an apology. I used to want you to take me back. However, I cannot wait for something I don't need or even want anymore. You put me through so much hell that I built my walls higher, attempting to keep others out for as long as possible. However, I guess I should say something that's been on my mind since you left:
Thank you.
Thank you for having me realize that there is so much love in the world and that I wasn't experiencing any of it. Thank you for making me realize that I was in love with my best friend. Thank you for making me realize that I needed myself by my side and how I should love myself. By ignoring me and cheating on me, you've shown me so many things I missed out on in my life. By breaking me down repeatedly, I learned to build myself up to a point where I can see if somebody is trying to hurt me before they even know they are.
I should have never waited for a call or a message. I should have never listened to all the lies you fed me. By betraying me to the highest degree, you made me believe people would lie when they said they loved me or would call me beautiful.
Though you still believe I am bent and broken, I happen not to be. Currently, I have a boyfriend who treats me better than you ever could, and he's always been by my side, even before you left me. I learned to love myself and others more and more, and keep my walls up; however, I do let my walls down more often because not everybody is out to hurt me like you were. I can stick up for myself when things go wrong and effectively make decisions based on my own feelings. I'm stronger now than I ever was and you helped me get here, albeit hurting me along the way.
Right now, I'm sitting in my dorm room next to my boyfriend as he plays music and sings to me softly. When I look at him, I'm happy. Genuinely, thoroughly and undeniably happy for where my life ended up. He's the man of my dreams, and he's also my best friend. I'm glad that horrid and rocky path thrust me around so badly and then had me end up here.
I hope you're happy, even after all you put me through. I hope you make the girl you cheated on me with very happy. I'll bet she makes you happy. But if she really does make you happy, maybe you should treat her right instead of only dating her for the attention. I did warn her, however, to keep her guard up, just in case.
Because life can be unpredictable.
Sincerely,
The best thing you ever lost
